Beltane

Beltane Tree

I had a really lovely Beltane. Our coven celebrated our first Beltane together and it went wonderfully. We are small in numbers but we still had a good time. The magick was flowing and laughter and dancing happened. I’m so glad that I decided to put this coven together. The first steps were hard and scary but the pay off had been big and good.

My private work for Beltane went well too. My husband and I tried to get outside and be close to nature but the weather really did not cooperate. We had rain storms for most of the day. We were able to get a short hike in. I did some divination and personal magick and left it all feeling very inspired and grateful.

I’m ready for the next turn of the wheel. I am a Summer Solstice baby and so I’m just a few weeks away from a new natal year!

D

 

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Ostara-Reconnecting With Pleasure

Yesterday was Ostara. My husband and I had a lovely little ritual. In my attempts to connect with this turn of the wheel something bubbled up. I struggle to connect with joy and pleasure. The seeds of this problem start in my childhood. My hope is that I will be able to take advantage of the Ostara season to reconnect with joy and pleasure.

During my childhood morality was assigned to every choice. Was it ultimately good or bad? Godly or sinful? A piece of cake might be delicious but you must be mindful of not being a glutton or of eating too many sweets. A day in the park playing was all fine and good but be sure to get that homework done and look out for strangers. All of this may seem minor but every choice was followed by the idea that god was watching and keeping a list of your wrong choices. I no longer believe any of that but the messages still speak to me when I’m enjoying something too much. This thinking has made me hyper-vigilant and when you are in that state of mind joy cannot come forward.

Yesterday during my ritual planning and during the ritual itself, I tried to let my inner child out to enjoy the fun. Right now I’m working on joy and I’m hoping to lean into pleasure for the Beltane season. Ostara energy is perfect for letting out my inner girl! I’m going to take more time to play and seek out the things that make my heart sing.

Art Brings Balance

If you have been reading my blog for awhile then you know that balance is always something I am striving for. I have been engaging in some pretty intense shadow work for the last few months and so to balance that out I have been working on some art projects. Art always makes me feel better.

Fertility Art

This project was inspired by Molly Roberts over at HerSpeak. I created this to serve as a backdrop on my altar. My plan is to use it during the fertility holidays coming up. Layered in the background are the Goddesses that made up my solstice garland. I wanted to show the fading of winter and the coming forward of the spring. I had so much fun creating this piece. It really helped me to get in touch with my inner child.

Over the weekend I cleaned up my altar space and decorated for Ostara. I love all of the bunnies and eggs. I used an old Ostara tree decoration that my kids put up every year as the centerpiece of my altar.

Ostara Altar

I’m grateful for this cheerful space to remind me that I cannot be all shadow all the time! As we move from Ostara into Beltane it will become more adult focused.

My shadow work has been so good. I feel like I am being transformed every day. It is good but it is not easy. I have a feeling the spells are going to be flying off my fingertips on the next full moon?

D

Rededication

One thing I did to celebrate Imbolc this year was to do a rededication ritual. I rededicated myself to my gods, my craft, and my role as a priestess. It was a really wonderful experience. I chose a moment when I could be alone and the house was empty. I walked away from that ritual feeling a great sense of renewal and connectedness.

It was the perfect time to rededicate. I have a lot going on in my life right now and I know this next year holds big challenges. I knew I needed to come at these new challenges from the best place possible.

This weekend we had our coven initiation ritual. It went so well and it was nice to finally get together and do a ritual. For the past few months, we have been ramping up a little at a time towards working together. We set Imbolc as our true start date and I’m very excited to see what the future holds!

This week I plan to create a love altar. I was inspired by Molly Roberts over at HerSpeak! I want to create something that I can carry on and add onto through Beltaine. Starting with a focus on love and moving into more passion and fertility. I’m more than ready to release my altar from its wintery theme and move onto something brighter and more spring-like.

How was your Imbolc? Did you do anything special?

D

 

Imbolc 2018

Last week carried some crazy energy. During the full moon, I was on pins and needles because the energy felt like anything could happen. As it turns out last week was a big week for me. It was filled with tears, dragon slaying, and eventually victory! As usual, there was so much to let go of and so much good stuff to draw in. My brain was super chaotic so I went to my cards for some guidance. I asked the gods to help me gain clarity about what to release and what to cultivate. I also asked for clarity on how to take action. Often I know I need to take action but then I question myself about what action to take. I did not understand what the cards were telling me at first but within 24 hours it all became clear.

Full Moon Tarot

Imbolc brought with it a more soothing energy. I spent the day thinking about the returning light and my dreams for spring. I planted the seeds of my future. I sang and spent time in my sacred space. It was simple but beautiful, sometimes simple is all you need.

The Tiniest of Flames

We started with one flame and slowly added candles to symbolize the growing light. With each candle, another aspiration was sent out into the universe. We sang and meditated on the flame until it felt right to end our ritual.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8H3rHBQakRk&list=PLkHralscgawfPvYMXq5I9Uu7XGRkrxT7f

I am the spark before the fire
from winters cold I do inspire
I am the promise of the Spring
I am the tiniest of flames.

A dancing fire upon the snow
in darkest night a mighty glow
I circle toward the coming spring
I am all life awakening.

Mid-Winters’ slumber I do shake
I coax the seed and bulb to wake
I pull them slowly from their dreams
I am the Maiden of the flame.

Protecting all at time of birth
In love and safety draw them forth
I wrap all newborns in my light
I am the Maiden dressed in white

Aspirations

Tomorrow I hope to find time to create a love focused altar for the month of February. I have been so inspired by Molly Roberts’ work and it feels right to follow along. What are your plans for February?

 

Shadow Work

I have been engaging in some deep shadow work. That is why I have not been posting here very often. This work is inner child work combined with present day work. I’m actually glad to be doing this work and I recognize that it is part of the restoration work left over from last year. I feel like I’m nearing the completion of a very long cycle. This cycle has taken me from child victim to survivor to warrior to teacher. I’m finding that at times I feel overwhelmed with gratitude and other times the burden feels so heavy and hopeless. I’m also having one of those moments when I can feel something big coming, but I’m not sure what it is. I’m trying to not let the fear of what it could be overtake me, I’m trying to believe in the possibility that it could be a good thing.

Thankfully I have Morrigan to help me deal with all of this. It is comforting to know that as my bones break and my heart cracks open she is there to help me put myself back together. I’m looking forward to Imbolc and the light it brings but for now, my focus is on dark shadow magick. While doing this work will be rewarding, in the end, it really takes everything I have within me to do it. This means I have to make sure I’m taking time for self-care so that I can be ready for the next battle.

Wish I had something uplifting to post today. This is real life witching. It isn’t always light and love, sometimes it is nitty gritty and down and dirty. For now, you will find me down in the mud, in the mess of my shadow.

D

Winter Warrior

Winter is the time of year when my inner warrior is the most visible. Strength is required to get through the long Wisconsin winters but that isn’t what I’m talking about. I have lived here my entire life and so winter is not a big deal.

Covered In Snow

I’m talking about battling the beast called depression. So far I’m doing ok, keeping my head above water and engaging in the fight, ask me again in February and you might get another response. My inner warrior goddess keeps pushing me forward and I’m trying to keep up. On the other hand, I have Aphrodite telling me to engage in self-care and Bast is trying to entice me into dancing. I think there is a part of me that doesn’t want to slow down to take care of myself because I’m afraid I might lose my momentum and become stuck. This is the time of year when I focus on balance the most, it is also the hardest time for me to find balance. My emotions are either all over the map or they are turned off completely. Heart chakra magick is often needed to keep me from shutting down.

I know this isn’t the most uplifting post, that isn’t my intent, my intent is to be as real as possible. Being a witch isn’t all fairy dust and magick wands, sometimes it is a gritty battle to keep standing. Right now my heart chakra might be a bit overstimulated, I feel deep wells of water threatening to overflow.

Today I plan to take care of some household tasks and then I think I will work some magick to help me feel less out of sorts. A hot bath to soothe my nerves, a fire in the hearth to warm me, and some hot chocolate to sweeten the day. Later I have an opportunity to be social so that will help too. Tomorrow I’m going to my dance fitness class again and so Bast will be happy.

If you are fighting SAD or just regular depression know that I am right there with you. I’m happy to share tips for getting through this rough season.

D

Simple Spirituality

Today I want to talk about everyday life and the simple things I do to keep my spirituality engaged. If you spend time online you might start to feel bad about your everyday witchiness. So many people present these glamorous super witchy personas to the world and that is just not my reality.

Monday blessings! On Mondays, I give thanks to the universe and light candles for the gods on my main altar. I also do a hearth blessing focused on the Goddess Bridget. Doing this helps me to start the week with gratitude and it gives me a chance to leave offerings and to clean up my spaces.

Almost every day I pull a card. It forces me to slow down and focus my energy and it gives me some guidance for the day. I record my card in my bullet journal so I can track trends. I also check the position and sign the moon is in and my personal astrology for the day. Whenever I journal I make sure to take a moment to record my gratitude.

Now that I am running a coven again I check for coven email and do whatever little tasks I have to do. Today I made a video for a tarot series I am doing with my group. Some days there is more to do than others.

In my day-to-day interactions with the world, I look and listen for messages from the Goddess. I try to keep my eyes and ears open so I don’t miss anything. I also know that if I miss her message she will shout it out to me louder and louder until I hear her.

I focus on the cycles of the moon and the turns of the wheel. I have been doing it for so long now that it has become second nature and I don’t have to think about it much. I write in my BOS when I work magick and I try to keep learning.

It may not be glamorous but it is real and I’m so glad that I have the practice I have. It gets the job done and that is what matters to me. I enjoy high ritual! It has its time and place in my life. It is reserved for when something special needs to be marked. I enjoy all the sparkly things many witches enjoy but I know now that I don’t need them. Give me a trusty spoon and an old pot and I can stir up some powerful magick!

What does your everyday magick routine look like?

Restoration Vibrations

Restoration may have been my word for last year but the vibrations are still washing over me. Technically that word ended at Samhain and Create started, but the Universe runs on her own time. Last year after the election I had some of the darkest days I have ever had. In most respects, this past year was a dumpster fire. In my personal life, 2017 brought many ups and downs but more ups than downs. Restoration pushed me to engage with skills that I have not used in a very long time. I dusted off my old networking hat and organized the hell out of things. Last year started small and simple but the closer we got to the end (I’m not sure the Universe is done with me yet) the deeper it all went. Samhain came and went and I thought I was moving onto other things. The crone was waiting for me and she took me to some really dark places. Rooms in my childhood that have not been opened in a very long time. Memories flooded back and challenged me to see them in a new light. These rooms held deep wounds and it was pretty frightening pulling the curtain back, but with Her help, I faced those old demons and I’m glad I did. She showed me that there is support out there and that although my child self-suffered in silence my adult self could find understanding. Through this process, I have more compassion for my child self and I can see her for what she truly was, an innocent.

On the lighter side, I went back to dance class today. It was a very joyful experience. I felt the Goddess (may have been Bast) smiling down on and me and telling me this was Restoration too. I have not been to dance class for about 2 years. It felt good to shake off the stress of the holidays and engage with that part of myself that loves to get lost in the music.

Create/Creatrix has started as well. I have started a new coven and I have been creating systems and planning events. I am making lots of fiber art and writing more. It feels like Create is the reward for all of the Restoration I have been doing. I am super excited about spring and what that turn of the wheel will bring.

If any of you are thinking of working with Restoration make sure you are ready for it. Restoration is not an easy process but it is rewarding in the end. Do you have a word you are working with?

D