Challenges of the Queen Archetype

I have been working with the queen archetype for a long time. Something has felt off to me and so now I’m trying to identify where I am being challenged. When I really think about it I have always identified with the queen, sometimes more than others. Being alone so much during childhood caused me to develop this archetype. I was the queen of my life and domain because it was just me and my dog. My parents were mostly absent. I chose how my day-to-day played out in a way that most children never experience. From an early age, I managed my kingdom and took on responsibility.

Now that the duties of motherhood are passing through my fingers I know it is time to move more into the role of queen. For about 5 years now I have been feeling pulled in this direction. The issue is that it never feels quite right. When I look back to other points in my adulthood I can see myself playing the role of queen even if the mother archetype was center stage. So why am I struggling so much now?

So far this is what I have figured out, due to my bad experiences in the pagan community, being in relationships where I gave up my power and raising teens I have lost touch with the queen archetype. Realizing how this archetype is tied to my childhood and that it has been with me my whole life brings into focus why I have been feeling so off lately. When you are not able to fully be yourself, when you are shutting parts of yourself down, then you’re going to feel off.

When trying to figure this all out I had to look at the shadow side of the queen to see if I had taken on any of those characteristics. The shadow of the queen is:



Black and white thinking


Unable to receive



I always struggle with being arrogant, because I am so aware of that I do a good job of keeping it in check. I may be a tad more cold and distant but not to an extreme. I don’t think I have taken on much of the shadow side. I have simply shut down that part of myself. So now the question is how do I draw that energy back to me?

One thing that has been made clear to me as I have studied this archetype is that the queen must be able to receive. Receiving is a tough challenge for me to take on. I struggle to truly receive love and to trust enough to let people help me. A queen has to feel empowered. This is a daily challenge for me, in some ways I feel super empowered and in other ways, it is clear to me that I have given my power away. Lastly, the queen cultivates purpose. This is the meat of my struggles. This empty nest has left me seeking purpose and not being sure of myself in this area for the first time in my life.

Well, I guess I have my full moon work cut out for me! Lucky for me the moon is in the majestic sign of Leo. The moon in Leo is one of my favorite placements. The lunar eclipse is a great time for openings and closings, and it is an explosive time for creativity. Warm up your cauldrons this is a good time to get some work done!





  1. Thanks for this post.

    I have some thoughts about it. I, too, was very much on my own from an early age. I developed strong independence. I was taught by my family and I taught myself not to need anyone for anything. Yet for me, I was not embodying the queen archetype. I was simply desperate and had no other options.

    A queen has sovereignty. defines that word like this:
    noun, plural sovereignties.
    the quality or state of being sovereign, or of having supreme power or authority.
    the status, dominion, power, or authority of a sovereign; royal rank or position; royalty.
    supreme and independent power or authority in government as possessed or claimed by a state or community.
    rightful status, independence, or prerogative.
    a sovereign or independent state, community, or political unit.

    So, in my case, I may have had independence but that was because I was neglected. I certainly did not have supreme (or any) power or authority. I did not come in into the Queen until I was in my 40s. It’s fascinating to me that this archetype has ties to your childhood.

    The parts about the shadow side are fascinating. I do not see you displaying these shadow aspects, but I can sure think of some people who have been in your life who do. Read that list of shadow aspects. Who comes to mind?

    I think the pagan world can be so toxic because we all have issues with power.

    I believe your purpose will become clear.

    Happy full moon!


    1. Part of the reason that I associate the queen with my childhood is because of who I admired in my childhood. I spend a lot of time pretending to be wonder woman and I see her as sort of a queen. In my early adolescence when I started to take on more of a leadership role among on my peers I was certainly filling the Queen’s shoes. Even though my being alone was due to neglect I don’t know that I necessarily always saw it that way. Being on my own so much taught me to be independent and my independence made it easy to step in to the queen shoes. This is a pretty juicy topic for me and it keeps coming back up in my life over and over and over again. I think there are going to be a lot of layers here.


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