I made a Morrigan doll per her request and I kind of love it! It was a process considering Mercury is retro and so I struggled mightily with the simple task of sewing. Now I plan to move onto the task of making a Morrigan wand. I found a lovely stick I want to use it for that purpose. I feel like I have been infused with energy and inspiration. Along with that, I feel like my connection to the divine is wide open. This often happens leading up to Beltane so I’m not super surprised, but I am delighted. I’m trying to take advantage of the energy boost while I have it. Breakthroughs are wonderful and I’m very grateful right now.
I’m feeling super energized! My practice has been infused with fresh inspiration. My matron deity has been knocking on my door, and that knocking has become louder and louder. She (Morrigan) knows how to get my attention and I know better than to ignore her. Because of the recent flurry of activity with her, I know there are things I need to do. I feel she has laid in my path a bunch of things to inspire me and maybe make the road a bit easier. I’m grateful.
I have been so stuck. I have not known how to move ahead, or even what I wanted to move ahead towards. I’m still not sure but at least I have some vision. I can see the ways this fresh vision ties into the old visions I once had. I feel like I can capture some of my old desires but with a fresh twist. There is much work to be done, but it feels good to have something new to sink my teeth into. I am aware of how vague this all sounds, as my vision becomes clearer I will share more.
What are your full moon plans? My wishes for you are full moon blessings and safe passage through this retrograde period.
I have been neglecting my spirituality. It isn’t that I haven’t been practicing, it is that I have not been engaging my heart. Recently I spent a lot of time working on my heart and I feel like this is the final phase. My practice has become very practical and results driven. That Capricorn moon of mine probably has something to do with this. Something has been missing and today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is my devotion. I’m devoted to my craft but my devotion to my gods has been slipping. I think this is all a part of the heart issue I was having in other areas of my life. That chakra was so blocked and I had built up some pretty serious walls around my heart. It had become hard for me to receive love from others and my creativity was nowhere to be found.
I think this was the last hiding place for me because I have been so hurt by pagans. This healing process has been long and each time I think I have reached the end there is more there. I fear I have let the pain of stepping away from community drain my passion and devotion for my gods. I have to remind myself that community is indeed separate from my relationship with my deities. I am still a priestess of Morrigan. I may be working in other ways but that will never change. I was reminded today of when she chose me and how I once interacted with her.
Once this all hit me, I decided that today is the day. I think one of the reasons my devotion has slipped is because I simply do not make time for it. I do all the practical stuff, the stuff that meets needs and gives answers. What is left behind is time to just be with Morrigan. Time to meditate on her and tend to my altar. I have been telling myself that there isn’t time for all that, but it has really been about me not wanting to access my heart.
I did a lovely meditation today and I feel very renewed by it. I practiced having an open heart and I let myself breathe and accept what my guide had to give. No one ever said being a witch was easy! I am grateful for the struggle.
I am sorry I have been gone for so long. I have been struggling through a bad case of viral bronchitis. I’m finally feeling a bit better now. I don’t have a lot to share today except that I realized this morning that Beltane is right around the corner! *runs around the room cheering* I love Beltane and I’m looking forward to the energy shift! Here in Wisconsin green things are popping up all over. I’m so glad that March is over and May will be here soon! Here are some old Beltane photos to get you ready for the season.