I am a Madison native who dreams about traveling the globe. I am a Gen-x, feminist, body positive, pagan woman wanting to create a better world for all of us. Books, movies, art, a good pinball machine, knitting needles, dogs, and fresh pencils will make me smile
Back many many years ago I was lucky enough to harvest an enormous amount of apples with some friends. All of us gathered in my big kitchen and started to process this amazing bounty. We made apple beer, chutney, fruit roll-ups, apple butter, and sauce. Due to a malfunction with the apple press my ceiling, floor and walls were covered in apple. Weeks later I was still finding bits of apple that we missed in the cleaning process. It was a fun community experience and it was a mess. I was a little overwhelmed trying to find ways to use them all (I canned a lot)before they went bad. In the end, I had plenty for myself and tons to share!
My Lammas harvest unfolded much the same way. My community gathered around me to help during the process. The work was messy and time-consuming. The abundance of blessings was great but also overwhelming. I have been working towards this harvest for a very long time. I have put in long hours both working magick to manifest my desire but also just working hard in my mundane life. I planted the seeds of this harvest years ago and each year I would get a little closer to seeing my goal. Now it has arrived and it is magnificent! At the same time, all this bounty demands that I put it to good use, and share it with others. I also have to shore up my boundaries and make sure I am engaging in self-care, too much of a good thing can be bad.
I am saying all of this to say when you are working magick and hoping to harvest your desires it is a good idea to be prepared. I recommend doing everything you can to prepare for what your life might look like if you actually get what you want. Will you need support? Are you ready for success? When you get what you want how will you use it? Will you share it? For me, my success meant tons of phone calls, emails, public speaking, being vulnerable and having my life out there on display. I’m an introvert who displays as an extrovert, so all that talking and being seen is not easy for me. When I was working on manifesting my desire I visualized what it would look like so I could be prepared for what might be asked of me in exchange.
Since Lammas, I have had almost no time to process how amazing this harvest has been. Instead of blogging, I should be sleeping but my mind is wide awake. I’m enjoying the delicious quiet of my office and giving myself a moment to let the magick of it all really sink in. We have two more turns of the wheel dedicated to harvest, I can’t wait to see what is coming!
June is my birthday month! I am barely a Gemini having made it just under the wire in 1970. Soon I will be entering the last year of my 40’s and I have some big changes I want to manifest before I turn 50. One theme that has appeared over and over the last few years is Freedom and Liberation. Just when I think I’m done with that lesson it comes back around and goes deeper and deeper. Now I have a feeling of being at a brass tacks place. I’m at the edge of the deepest point with the toughest lessons. I’m being called to stretch to some pretty scary places and also to act whether or not anyone is by my side when I do it. Being a Gemini I prefer a partner to work with but sometimes that just isn’t possible.
I feel like the gods have been pulling out all of the stops. I have my primary gods and then others that I’ve worked with regarding certain issues. Lately, they have all been making an appearance and their voices are getting louder and louder. I’m trying to take it all in and process it all. I’ve had some things thrown in my path this year that have made everything feel harder. That being said I am ready to fight for what I want and keep moving. The lesson happening right now is that liberation doesn’t always come so easy, sometimes it isn’t just about untying your own hands and undoing your own chains, sometimes it is about busting out, drugging the jailor and taking a saw to the bars. Sometimes you gotta She-Hulk that bullsh*it!
Soon it will be Summer Solstice and then the wheel will turn towards harvest. I’ve got some work to do just regarding the things I planted at Imbolc. I know there are no short cuts so I should probably say goodbye for now and light up my cauldron.
Have you ever worked on Freedom or Liberation? What gods/goddesses did you find most helpful?
Sometimes the goddess pushes me. Sometimes in general and sometimes The Morrigan in particular. A couple of years ago I felt her pushing me towards starting a coven and I did that. We are very small in number but I feel good about how things are unfolding right now. I’m feeling her push again and this time I am struggling to heed her call. She is asking for expansion. She is pulling my focus back to her and my work as her priestess. The idea of expansion makes my anxiety flare. My last experience within the Pagan community did not end well. It was a decade of many highs and lows and it left me beaten and bruised and in need of time away. I’m a very different person now. I suspect the Pagan community I left is very much the same. So I struggle with the question of expansion that is infused with intention and openness. I want to grow my spiritual circle with intention but I also want to be open to new people. In the past, I would have rushed out and started making plans. I would have gone from 0-100 in 60 seconds. Time has made me more cautious and deliberate. I think I need to meditate on this some more. Change is coming I can feel it, I just have to be ready.
I’m pausing. It might seem odd given that this is a new moon but there is so much going on astrologically that I feel it is best for me to take a breath. Mercury Retrograde seasons usually allow me a chance to reflect. The energy around me feels like an in-between time which kinda makes sense given that Spring Equinox is on the horizon. At this moment I am reflecting on my spiritual journey and feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude. It’s not super popular to be Wiccan right now but I have never cared for what is popular.
My practice has served me well in many ways. It has helped me to learn to flow with the earth and her seasons. Every year letting go of what needs to be removed and sowing seeds when it is time to start new life. My journey has taught me about leadership and boundaries and listening to my gut. Over time my practice has assisted me in healing my wounds and speaking my truth through bravery and a warrior’s spirit. I have learned to trust the divine and see the divine within myself.
It has not always been easy. Within this culture (Paganism) you run into all sorts of crappy people and at times those experiences have brought me great pain. Through those experiences, I have learned compassion and how to protect myself and how to walk in integrity.
Although I’m much more expansive with my practice and I do not stay perfectly within the lines of traditional Wicca it is the framework for my spiritual practice. Wicca is not perfect and I don’t believe any spiritual framework is. So today as I sit in this timeless space I’m grateful for all of the blessings and lessons Wicca has given me.
Another January has passed and I’m filled with gratitude. I feel energized and ready to turn towards planting seeds. The polar vortex has released us from her icy grip and everything is shifting. I woke up this morning with a song in my heart and inspiration overflowing my brain! I have also been working on some personal healing over the past week.
“Holy Water, Sacred Flame
Bridget, we invoke thy name
Bless my hands, my head, my heart
Source of healing, song, and art.”
Today I plan to plant my intentions for the coming year and leave offerings of gratitude for January. I will also be taking a ritual bath and rededicating myself to my path. Something about Imbolc always makes me feel fresh and hopeful. Tomorrow my coven will be doing initiations and spending some quality time together. I will light my Bridget candle and do a hearth blessing. To be honest, this is the best I have felt at Imbolc in a very long time. Usually, I’m trying to dig myself out of depression. This year I am chomping at the bit for spring!
Imbolc will be here before we know it and so I have been taking some time to think about the coming spring. Last year was a mixed bag of really high highs and really low lows. At Samhain I spent a lot of time considering what I might bring into this year and what needs work. I know I need to spend some time on my root chakra. I have known about this problem for a really long time and have just keep ignoring it and putting it on a shelf for later. Of course that only means that now it is a very big problem and is blocking me in so many areas of my life. I also took some time yesterday to choose a card of the year. This is something I do not normally do but I felt like the goddess was telling me I should. I drew the Queen of Swords.
So I guess I will not only be working on my root chakra but also my throat chakra. When I think about it I have been feeling a little blocked in that area. To be honest, I felt a little off the whole winter holiday season, not bad, just not myself. Luckily I am very well acquainted with this queen. This card has felt like “my” card my whole life and so maybe some of what I need to do it get back to myself. So this is my work plan for the year…
Card: Queen of Swords
Chakra: Root and throat.
I can feel the stirrings of imbolc already and the energy is delicious. It is fresh and full of hope. It is the gentle sunlight of early morning streaming through the window whispering, “it’s time to wake up.” I am fully here for that energy. For once I do not feel the desire to rush ahead or dream about Beltane.
Over the weekend my coven and I celebrated Samhain together. It is our first Samhain season working as a group and so this ritual was very special. The ritual was beautiful and impactful. The weather was seasonable and mostly dry. We were able to spend time outside by the fire and make some special memories.
During our ritual time we honored the Crone and threw things into her cauldron. We toasted the New Year and talked about our dreams for the future. We created this spiral of lights so we could spiral in and out, each one of us having some one on one time with the goddess.
One of the coven members gave a fantastic presentation on the Crone. We each chose a Crone’s token from a bowl on our way out of the circle. I drew the rune Fehu.
We ended our evening with Pizza and a group viewing of Practical Magic to add a little fun to it all! We filled up on brownies and other sweets. At the end of the night I was exhausted but full. My cup filled by time with my coven and time with the Crone.
I am currently on a stay-cation. I’m using the time to turn inward and focus on the season. Tomorrow is Samhain/Halloween and I plan to spend time with my family. I’m hoping the weather holds so we can go to the corn maze. I’m still battling depression and so this time to slow down and breathe has been very helpful.