Winter is the time of year when my inner warrior is the most visible. Strength is required to get through the long Wisconsin winters but that isn’t what I’m talking about. I have lived here my entire life and so winter is not a big deal.
I’m talking about battling the beast called depression. So far I’m doing ok, keeping my head above water and engaging in the fight, ask me again in February and you might get another response. My inner warrior goddess keeps pushing me forward and I’m trying to keep up. On the other hand, I have Aphrodite telling me to engage in self-care and Bast is trying to entice me into dancing. I think there is a part of me that doesn’t want to slow down to take care of myself because I’m afraid I might lose my momentum and become stuck. This is the time of year when I focus on balance the most, it is also the hardest time for me to find balance. My emotions are either all over the map or they are turned off completely. Heart chakra magick is often needed to keep me from shutting down.
I know this isn’t the most uplifting post, that isn’t my intent, my intent is to be as real as possible. Being a witch isn’t all fairy dust and magick wands, sometimes it is a gritty battle to keep standing. Right now my heart chakra might be a bit overstimulated, I feel deep wells of water threatening to overflow.
Today I plan to take care of some household tasks and then I think I will work some magick to help me feel less out of sorts. A hot bath to soothe my nerves, a fire in the hearth to warm me, and some hot chocolate to sweeten the day. Later I have an opportunity to be social so that will help too. Tomorrow I’m going to my dance fitness class again and so Bast will be happy.
If you are fighting SAD or just regular depression know that I am right there with you. I’m happy to share tips for getting through this rough season.
Hello Witches! I hope this fine May evening finds you doing well. We finally saw some sun today! Here is a photo of some lovely flowers I found.
I had one goal for Beltane, I had to find a way to set myself free. I was feeling heavy, weighed down by sadness and pressure. I had shrunk myself and ceased to be authentic. I was acting from fear. Afraid of being hurt if I let my true self shine through.
I can’t move
Freedom, cut me loose
Where are you?
‘Cause I need freedom too” Beyonce
This world can be tough on those of us who don’t fit in. The magical ones, the sensitive ones, those who color outside the lines. The grind of trying to fit in when you don’t can really wear on a person. Ultimately I took some big action and quit my job. It was proving to be pretty toxic to me and I had been staying out of a false sense of duty. I knew I was going to have quit soon but I had not pulled the trigger on it yet.
“I break chains all by myself
Won’t let my freedom rot in hell
Hey! I’ma keep running
‘Cause a winner don’t quit on themselves” Beyonce
I think all of these retrogrades played a part in keeping me stuck. My mind has been muddy and I just couldn’t achieve any forward motion. Then yesterday something shifted. The energy felt different and so I struck while the iron was hot. Just that one action caused a big change. I feel like I can breathe again. I spent the day outside with my daughter soaking up the natural world, and best of all the sunshine. There is a lot of work left to do, but I feel like I have made a great start and I can already feel a huge energy shift.
Part of the magick has been meditation. Talking with Morrigan never hurts. The biggest thing I did was immerse myself in the energy of freedom. I have danced and listened to music about freedom. I have read poetry and historical quotes about freedom. I have bit my lip and acted from my heart. A dash of this and a dash of that plus some serious intent have made manifest my Beltane wish.
What was your Beltane wish? Have you worked any juicy magick lately?
Last night I went to Zumba and it was wonderful. Dancing always makes me feel free. For Beltane my focus was Freedom and so last night I hit the dance floor and welcomed Freedom in. It felt good to not only dance but to reconnect with the people in my class. I feel like I have not been “in my body” lately. I have not been feeling enough and so dancing was a good remedy. I also created a Freedom themed playlist to remind me each day of what my goals are. Music is magick to my soul and so I know how to use it to help me with my goals. Here is the first track on my Freedom playlist!