The Universe has been sending me all sorts of messages over the last week that something is not right. Some of these messages have come through my personal tarot readings and some have come from outside sources. The only difference over the last week has been that the messages are getting louder. Because I have so much trauma in my past it can be easy for me to become really worried when I receive these insights and that worry often leads to a feeling of helplessness. Like ok, it’s coming and I just have to brace myself. I recognize that as an old coping mechanism and I know that it served me long ago but it doesn’t serve me now. When a fellow witch is in need I am the first one to offer help but I don’t always rush to my own aide. Morrighan always speaks the loudest and the most clearly and she is saying, Witch, protect yourself! I also feel she is reminding me of my strength and abilities and also reminding me to use those abilities. Sometimes I get so caught up in the deep personal work I am trying to do that I forget to do things like shore up my defenses. I am grateful for the reminder and I have made a plan to work some magick to protect myself but also to stand in my power as a witch. I spent time with my Book of Shadows this morning and I think I know what I want to do.
How has September been treating you so far? What messages are you hearing on the wind?
Last week carried some crazy energy. During the full moon, I was on pins and needles because the energy felt like anything could happen. As it turns out last week was a big week for me. It was filled with tears, dragon slaying, and eventually victory! As usual, there was so much to let go of and so much good stuff to draw in. My brain was super chaotic so I went to my cards for some guidance. I asked the gods to help me gain clarity about what to release and what to cultivate. I also asked for clarity on how to take action. Often I know I need to take action but then I question myself about what action to take. I did not understand what the cards were telling me at first but within 24 hours it all became clear.
Imbolc brought with it a more soothing energy. I spent the day thinking about the returning light and my dreams for spring. I planted the seeds of my future. I sang and spent time in my sacred space. It was simple but beautiful, sometimes simple is all you need.
We started with one flame and slowly added candles to symbolize the growing light. With each candle, another aspiration was sent out into the universe. We sang and meditated on the flame until it felt right to end our ritual.
I am the spark before the fire from winters cold I do inspire I am the promise of the Spring I am the tiniest of flames.
A dancing fire upon the snow in darkest night a mighty glow I circle toward the coming spring I am all life awakening.
Mid-Winters’ slumber I do shake I coax the seed and bulb to wake I pull them slowly from their dreams I am the Maiden of the flame.
Protecting all at time of birth In love and safety draw them forth I wrap all newborns in my light I am the Maiden dressed in white
Tomorrow I hope to find time to create a love focused altar for the month of February. I have been so inspired by Molly Roberts’ work and it feels right to follow along. What are your plans for February?
Today I want to talk about everyday life and the simple things I do to keep my spirituality engaged. If you spend time online you might start to feel bad about your everyday witchiness. So many people present these glamorous super witchy personas to the world and that is just not my reality.
Monday blessings! On Mondays, I give thanks to the universe and light candles for the gods on my main altar. I also do a hearth blessing focused on the Goddess Bridget. Doing this helps me to start the week with gratitude and it gives me a chance to leave offerings and to clean up my spaces.
Almost every day I pull a card. It forces me to slow down and focus my energy and it gives me some guidance for the day. I record my card in my bullet journal so I can track trends. I also check the position and sign the moon is in and my personal astrology for the day. Whenever I journal I make sure to take a moment to record my gratitude.
Now that I am running a coven again I check for coven email and do whatever little tasks I have to do. Today I made a video for a tarot series I am doing with my group. Some days there is more to do than others.
In my day-to-day interactions with the world, I look and listen for messages from the Goddess. I try to keep my eyes and ears open so I don’t miss anything. I also know that if I miss her message she will shout it out to me louder and louder until I hear her.
I focus on the cycles of the moon and the turns of the wheel. I have been doing it for so long now that it has become second nature and I don’t have to think about it much. I write in my BOS when I work magick and I try to keep learning.
It may not be glamorous but it is real and I’m so glad that I have the practice I have. It gets the job done and that is what matters to me. I enjoy high ritual! It has its time and place in my life. It is reserved for when something special needs to be marked. I enjoy all the sparkly things many witches enjoy but I know now that I don’t need them. Give me a trusty spoon and an old pot and I can stir up some powerful magick!
At first glance I thought this card might be a bad one, but it was a pleasant surprise.
Key words: Renewed interest, motivation, enthusiasm, moving forward, letting go, new experiences and people.
After thinking about it I realize that this card is perfect for where I am right now. I have been sorting and sifting through the bad community experiences I have had. This has been going on for a long time and every time I think it is over there is another layer there to overcome. In the end what has helped me the most is talking with others who have had similar experiences and doing some powerful shadow work. I have had to really dig deep to discover why I made the choices I made and why I reacted the way I did. Shadow work can be brutal and it requires heaps of self-compassion. This work has led me to a renaissance in my own practice. Along with negative community, I have left behind practices that no longer serve me, and I have embraced new practices. Some of this journey has led me back to where I started when I first found witchcraft. I’m at this wonderful place where my practice feels juicy again.
The time for being hurt is over, or so this card can sometimes say. I feel it might be right, I think I have reached the bottom of my pain with regards to community. I certainly have no plans to give that experience or those people any power over me anymore. Like attracts like. In the end, I was not like them and that is why it did not work. Such a simple answer, but there is so much truth there. I kept trying to find a way to fit in, now I no longer want that. My power, as a witch, has a lot to do with my being myself. I feel ready to connect with witches who want to share skills and ideas. I know I can learn from others and I’ve got some meaningful things to share. I want to share the craft with individuals and not groups. That is a powerful distinction.
The card for this week is the Death card. When I first drew this card I was kind of confused, but then a lightbulb went off. I have been feeling a bit lonely. It can be hard when your children grow up and move on with their lives. My youngest will be 17 in August and she just doesn’t need me that much. Each step she takes towards adulthood leaves me feeling a bit more empty. I think the Death card is telling me once again that it is time to let go. I know that it is better to listen than to struggle when this card appears. More and more I am faced with knowing that I have to figure out what I want to do with the second portion of my life. Soon my nest will truly be empty and I don’t want to fall apart when that happens.
I can think of 100 things I want to do with all my new-found time, that isn’t the issue. The problem is loneliness and how not to be driven crazy by the quiet. Being the mother of four kids means my home has rarely been quiet over the last 23 years. I have always felt a bit like an outsider so making friends can be hard. For the last few years, I have been working on cultivating authentic relationships with people. This can be pretty difficult because what I have learned is many people are not all that interested in authenticity. That being said, I have to keep trying.
This week’s card could not be more on target. I pulled the Eight of Discs which is the card of Skill. Keywords for this card:
Raising the Bar
I have been in the thick of it lately. Ambition overload! Being a Gemini I like to juggle a bunch of balls all at once. So this means I am working on a lot right now. But I love it! I love that feeling when all the gears are turning and all of the synapses are firing. This is a good card for right now, I couldn’t be happier.
This is kind of late going up, but here is my card of the week.
The Star card is a bit more upbeat when compared to last week’s card. I feel like the main message of this card is relief and time to heal. There are also some themes of liberation and freedom associated with this card. I’m working with both of these ideas right now.
In 1999 I decided to become a witch. I left a lifetime of bad religion behind me and went in search of something that would be a better fit. 1998 was all about searching. I was hungry for connection. At first, I thought I might be an atheist, after three months I decided that was not going to work for me. I could feel within me that there was something out there but I just wasn’t sure what it was. I studied all kinds of paths and it all led me to witchcraft. I found the goddess and after that, I knew I was home.
When I started out my practice was full of passion and wonder. Over time, I have lost much of that. Groups, community, ideas about what I should and shouldn’t do have all clouded my once intuitive practice. Now I find myself hungry for that old passion. I want to get my hands dirty. If I’m being honest I would have to say that I no longer care what anyone thinks of my practice. I have tried to make my magick conform to other’s ideas of what is right, proper, etc…All this has done is weaken my practice and over time, it has felt less and less like me. I am grateful for all of the training I have received. I have had some very meaningful experiences and because of these, I have added many useful things to my spirituality.
Now I am on a pilgrimage. I am journeying back to who I was in the beginning. I think that is where the juice is. I want to feel more and worry less. So far the journey has been wonderful. This week I got my hands down deep in the earth. I also enjoyed all 4 elements in a meaningful way. I worked a little magick at my altar and I did some divination. I’m creating new tools and my mind has been abuzz with all the things I want to do. Isn’t it funny how you just know when it is time to make a change? I have been waiting for the energy to shift and then one day it did, I knew in that moment just what I wanted to do. I let a bunch go and now I’m ready for what comes next!