Tuesdays are a devotional day for me. I will sometimes bring Morrighan a token or devote a work out to her. Other times I will talk with her about whatever things are going on in my life. I feel when you choose to walk with Morrighan you are not choosing an easy path. She seems to choose those who challenge themselves and she almost always has a challenge for me. Her challenges never feel like a burden and I know that I will be better for having taken her up on it.
Right now my main challenge has been dealing with my health issues. I felt like she was telling me way back at Samhain that this year was going to be very self-focused. I felt a little guilty choosing that path but I trust her and so that is the direction I started to walk. Soon I found out why that was needed and I’m so glad that she gave me the heads up about it. I’m starting to see that part of the challenge is living life to the fullest and not just moving from commitment to commitment. I have also been focusing on turning down all the negative noise in my life which means less time on social media. The world may need me but I need me more.
Over this waning moon period, I have been working on letting go of any lingering guilt or shame that I feel but that doesn’t really belong to me. Each time I work on this process it gets easier and there is less to let go of. For the new moon, I’m planning to set intentions around positivity and not letting my illness rule my life. I can’t believe that Imbolc is just a few weeks away! Before you know it we will be enjoying spring.:) The wheel keeps turning…
Do you have a primary deity? How do you honor that deity?
Winter is the time of year when my inner warrior is the most visible. Strength is required to get through the long Wisconsin winters but that isn’t what I’m talking about. I have lived here my entire life and so winter is not a big deal.
I’m talking about battling the beast called depression. So far I’m doing ok, keeping my head above water and engaging in the fight, ask me again in February and you might get another response. My inner warrior goddess keeps pushing me forward and I’m trying to keep up. On the other hand, I have Aphrodite telling me to engage in self-care and Bast is trying to entice me into dancing. I think there is a part of me that doesn’t want to slow down to take care of myself because I’m afraid I might lose my momentum and become stuck. This is the time of year when I focus on balance the most, it is also the hardest time for me to find balance. My emotions are either all over the map or they are turned off completely. Heart chakra magick is often needed to keep me from shutting down.
I know this isn’t the most uplifting post, that isn’t my intent, my intent is to be as real as possible. Being a witch isn’t all fairy dust and magick wands, sometimes it is a gritty battle to keep standing. Right now my heart chakra might be a bit overstimulated, I feel deep wells of water threatening to overflow.
Today I plan to take care of some household tasks and then I think I will work some magick to help me feel less out of sorts. A hot bath to soothe my nerves, a fire in the hearth to warm me, and some hot chocolate to sweeten the day. Later I have an opportunity to be social so that will help too. Tomorrow I’m going to my dance fitness class again and so Bast will be happy.
If you are fighting SAD or just regular depression know that I am right there with you. I’m happy to share tips for getting through this rough season.
The moon is waning and my heart is pouring out into the universe all the things it wishes to let go of. In order to do this great restoration project I’m working on I need to make room. Every month I find things to let go of but this month feels different. I feel so much pouring out of me. Now that my heart is open and not barricaded behind walls I’m finding there is so much there I was unaware of. Sadness, fear, outdated relationships, old ideas, and just build up crap. I’m not afraid to let it all go, in fact, I’m excited!
In my little bowl, I placed all the things I wanted to burn away. I spoke them into the flame and watched them burn away. Softly I sang to myself that it was ok to let go.
Contained within my letting go was rage, sadness, and relief. It feels good to be a witch and to know that I have the power to shape my world and myself.
I feel bare as the trees outside my window. Here in Wisconsin, the trees are bare in the winter. Some might think this would be ugly but it has a beauty all its own. I feel like those trees right now. The good thing about seeing the bare trees is that you can appreciate the beauty of what hides beneath the leaves. I feel pretty exposed due to my heart chakra being open and clear. My emotions are raw and my intuition is set on high. One of my goals for January is to keep my heart open and to let emotions pass through me. The key is to not hold onto anything for too long. So right now I’m feeling everything much like the trees in my yard. The wind blows through them and they have no choice but to stand tall and let the wind pass.
I’m thinking about how I can work some magick in order to bring some of my lost pieces back to me. My word for the year is restoration and I think it will be turning up as a magickal theme all year. This tree is not in my yard but it is one of my favorite trees.
As I sit here in my chair I beckon all of the lost pieces back to me. So many of these parts were not willingly given up but stolen from me. I envision them as small flames coming back into my heart. Hopefully, when the trees get their pretty leaves I will have a few new buds of my own. For now, I’m resting like the trees, quietly calling all the missing pieces home.