I’m pausing. It might seem odd given that this is a new moon but there is so much going on astrologically that I feel it is best for me to take a breath. Mercury Retrograde seasons usually allow me a chance to reflect. The energy around me feels like an in-between time which kinda makes sense given that Spring Equinox is on the horizon. At this moment I am reflecting on my spiritual journey and feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude. It’s not super popular to be Wiccan right now but I have never cared for what is popular.
My practice has served me well in many ways. It has helped me to learn to flow with the earth and her seasons. Every year letting go of what needs to be removed and sowing seeds when it is time to start new life. My journey has taught me about leadership and boundaries and listening to my gut. Over time my practice has assisted me in healing my wounds and speaking my truth through bravery and a warrior’s spirit. I have learned to trust the divine and see the divine within myself.
It has not always been easy. Within this culture (Paganism) you run into all sorts of crappy people and at times those experiences have brought me great pain. Through those experiences, I have learned compassion and how to protect myself and how to walk in integrity.
Although I’m much more expansive with my practice and I do not stay perfectly within the lines of traditional Wicca it is the framework for my spiritual practice. Wicca is not perfect and I don’t believe any spiritual framework is. So today as I sit in this timeless space I’m grateful for all of the blessings and lessons Wicca has given me.
I am so happy to welcome in September. In my mind it is fall now and fall is my favorite season. I have been having a rough go of it lately. Mercury being retro and the eclipse season has kind of kicked my butt. This Mercury retrograde has been all about family, and no one can hurt you like those you love the most. All my wounds are mostly patched up except for one. My youngest is moving out of the house this weekend. Everything in me feels it is too soon and she is not ready, of course she doesn’t agree with this assessment. With each breath I work towards letting go. I’m trying to tell myself that mourning 25 years of being mommy can go hand in hand with embracing a future full of possibilities. As each of my kids (I have 4) moved out I knew I was getting closer and closer to the end of this chapter, now that I’m here I feel prepared but also sad. I’m hoping with Morrighan’s help I can walk through this season with as much grace as possible.
“But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since last he saw you.”
― Stephen King, ‘Salem’s Lot
I have a feeling this harvest season is going to be a whopper! Lots going on in the world and so much going on with me. I’m not expecting anything bad just lots to bring in and even more to let go of. It’s funny how no matter how much you let go of there is always another layer to strip away. One blessing of the universe is that I always feel super energized in the autumn, so at least I will have the energy to do the work. Speaking of work, I have been having a great time connecting with my ancestors and I hope to continue that work through this season.
“O autumn, laden with fruit, and stain’d
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof, there thou mayst rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.
~William Blake (1757-1827), “To Autumn”
It won’t be long until Mabon is knocking on our door. Do you celebrate this turn of the wheel? What is your favorite way to mark Mabon? I like to go out to the winery near our home and welcome in the harvest with some local wine. Hopefully the equinox will help me find some balance.
“Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first september was crisp and golden as an apple.” —J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Happy Witchy September!
Every Samhain I pick a word of the year. That word will guide my journey until the next Samhain. My word for this year is Restoration. I knew this word would be a tough one but it kept coming up over and over. If there is one thing I know, you should not ignore the Universe. Restoration has been hard to get a handle on. The first half of the year was not easy. That makes sense, in order to restore you have to remove dead wood and drive fresh nails. In order to restore you have to know what you are restoring to. During this process, I have spent time combing over the past and trying to recall the parts of myself that have been lost. I have examined relationships and projects I once cared about. I have been thinking about ambition, passion, and fear. Things really started to heat up around the last Mercury retrograde, then things became really hot at the last full moon in Scorpio. Since then I have been feeling really overwhelmed by the energy of this work. Do you ever feel like the gods are f*cking with you? That is how I have been feeling. I have been caught off guard in some pretty uncomfortable ways lately. These situations have been in my face and hard to run from or ignore. No kid gloves for me or subtlety. I have been asking for clarity and Morrigan has dished it up. Be careful what you ask for… Freedom has also been a theme this year, kind of running in the background. I have started asking myself, why do I feel like a caged bird, and when did I feel freedom. What was happening in my life during that time, why is that gone now, and how do I cultivate it again.
People hurt me. When they do I run from other things that I love. It isn’t the people from my past that I miss so much as the work, the projects, and the purpose. I am a sensitive soul and I have allowed aggressive people to take away my power and other things I once felt passionate about. I have to learn not to give them my power, I have to learn to tune out the haters. This might sound simple but trust me it is some of the hardest spiritual work I have ever done. An old friend described me the other day as fearless, courageous, brave, amazing, and tenacious. I was dumbfounded, I don’t know that version of myself anymore. I’m searching for her now. Morrigan says there is work to be done and I better get ready.
I made a Morrigan doll per her request and I kind of love it! It was a process considering Mercury is retro and so I struggled mightily with the simple task of sewing. Now I plan to move onto the task of making a Morrigan wand. I found a lovely stick I want to use it for that purpose. I feel like I have been infused with energy and inspiration. Along with that, I feel like my connection to the divine is wide open. This often happens leading up to Beltane so I’m not super surprised, but I am delighted. I’m trying to take advantage of the energy boost while I have it. Breakthroughs are wonderful and I’m very grateful right now.
December has arrived and pretty snow covers everything here in Wisconsin.
December 14, 2016 – Full Moon in Gemini
December 21, 2016 – Winter Solstice!
December 29, 2016 – New Moon in Sagittarius
Oh yeah and Mercury is going retrograde again! This happens December 19, 2016 – January 8, 2017.
On a personal note, I have started working with Skadi again. I’m also starting to work with Melusine.
My work with Skadi tends to be around dealing with solitude and getting through the winter. I tend to isolate more in the winter and she helps me convert loneliness to solitude. I meditate on her when I am out walking the dog and it really helps me shift my perspective.
Melusine is a whole other kettle of fish. I have decided that I need to work with water more, and since the women in my ancestry believed strongly in the myth of Melusine I plan to see what I can learn from her.
Mostly the month of December belongs to The Holly King. My mantle is covered in Holly Kings! I enjoy his energy very much and I can’t wait to experience the magick of working with him again.
What are your December plans?
One feature of Mercury Retrograde is the tendency for the past to punch into the now. This has most certainly been happening to me. I have had three or four really disturbing dreams over the last week. They all feature people from the past. Some of them from the waaaay past. These dreams all seem to linger long into the day. I can’t shake them off and that tells me there is something to learn there. I have also been experiencing some pretty big shifts in perspective. Some of these changes would be liberating in a sense, but they would require me to let go of some long-held beliefs. These dreams are nudging me towards holding people responsible and at the same time forgiving them. Maybe I am at a place when I can extend compassion to the person who laid waste to my childhood? This is big shadow work! Strangely, I am not afraid. I learned a long time ago not to run from my shadow. I think I have found the first thing I’m going to throw into my Samhain cauldron.
Have any of you experienced dreams of this nature recently?