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The Temple Within

Musings of a polytheistic witch

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Morrighan

New Life

It might seem like an odd time of year to be talking about new life but I have some to share. I have been wondering what my big harvest is going to be this year. What I have discovered is that starting a new coven is my big harvest. Now I knew this was coming but I did not think it would come this fast. That being said, the goddess (Morrighan) has been pushing me out of my comfort zone and back into the mix since last spring. I’m one of those people who plans and thinks about something and then when the time feels right I pull the trigger. I often can feel it coming but I just don’t know how soon. When it happens it usually surprises others but I’m often more than ready to go. My mind is buzzing with ideas and excitement at this new adventure. I feel truly restored after a year of working on it. I’m not as afraid as I thought I might be. I have done a lot of letting go and so I’m not so worried about what others will think or how they will respond. Don’t worry, I’m going to be careful to heed the lessons learned from the past. It feels good to be in the center of where I want to be after striving for so long.

What do you want to harvest at Samhain?

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September

I am so happy to welcome in September. In my mind it is fall now and fall is my favorite season.      I have been having a rough go of it lately. Mercury being retro and the eclipse season has kind of kicked my butt. This Mercury retrograde has been all about family, and no one can hurt you like those you love the most. All my wounds are mostly patched up except for one. My youngest is moving out of the house this weekend. Everything in me feels it is too soon and she is not ready, of course she doesn’t agree with this assessment. With each breath I work towards letting go. I’m trying to tell myself that mourning 25 years of being mommy can go hand in hand with embracing a future full of possibilities. As each of my kids (I have 4) moved out I knew I was getting closer and closer to the end of this chapter, now that I’m here I feel prepared but also sad. I’m hoping with Morrighan’s help I can walk through this season with as much grace as possible.

“But when fall comes, kicking summer out on its treacherous ass as it always does one day sometime after the midpoint of September, it stays awhile like an old friend that you have missed. It settles in the way an old friend will settle into your favorite chair and take out his pipe and light it and then fill the afternoon with stories of places he has been and things he has done since last he saw you.”
Stephen King, ‘Salem’s Lot

I have a feeling this harvest season is going to be a whopper! Lots going on in the world and so much going on with me. I’m not expecting anything bad just lots to bring in and even more to let go of. It’s funny how no matter how much you let go of there is always another layer to strip away. One blessing of the universe is that I always feel super energized in the autumn, so at least I will have the energy to do the work. Speaking of work, I have been having a great time connecting with my ancestors and I hope to continue that work through this season.

“O autumn, laden with fruit, and stain’d
With the blood of the grape, pass not, but sit
Beneath my shady roof, there thou mayst rest,
And tune thy jolly voice to my fresh pipe,
And all the daughters of the year shall dance!
Sing now the lusty song of fruits and flowers.
~William Blake (1757-1827), “To Autumn”

It won’t be long until Mabon is knocking on our door. Do you celebrate this turn of the wheel? What is your favorite way to mark Mabon? I like to go out to the winery near our home and welcome in the harvest with some local wine. Hopefully the equinox will help me find some balance.

“Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first september was crisp and golden as an apple.” —J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Happy Witchy September!

D

Stength

I know I have not been posting much lately. I feel bad about that because this blog matters to me. I have been absent because I have been busy with the task of restoration. Morrigan has been my muse and Bridget has helped me strike my target over and over. I decided that since I’m moving a bit slower today, head cold, I would sit down and pound out an update.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned through this process is the more fully I become myself the more my strength is revealed. My current struggle is with my voice. I feel like I am acting from a place of power and I’m seeing some wonderful results. When I start to struggle is when I need to raise my voice to be heard or when I need to speak up in disagreement. I have been doing some pretty intense political organizing on the grassroots level and let me tell you it can be hard to be heard even when you are all on the same team. Add to that being a woman and being Mexican American, and you can start to see how it might be hard. The universe is putting me in situations where I have to fight to be heard and it has been pretty challenging.

On the up side, I have been enjoying life more and I feel like I’m well on my way to meeting my goals this year. The wheel keeps turning and soon it will turn towards harvest. I have a feeling my harvest will be bountiful and challenging. I just had my 47th birthday and I think this might be one of my best years yet.

Revisiting Restoration

Every Samhain I pick a word of the year. That word will guide my journey until the next Samhain. My word for this year is Restoration. I knew this word would be a tough one but it kept coming up over and over. If there is one thing I know, you should not ignore the Universe. Restoration has been hard to get a handle on. The first half of the year was not easy. That makes sense, in order to restore you have to remove dead wood and drive fresh nails. In order to restore you have to know what you are restoring to. During this process, I have spent time combing over the past and trying to recall the parts of myself that have been lost. I have examined relationships and projects I once cared about. I have been thinking about ambition, passion, and fear. Things really started to heat up around the last Mercury retrograde, then things became really hot at the last full moon in Scorpio. Since then I have been feeling really overwhelmed by the energy of this work. Do you ever feel like the gods are f*cking with you? That is how I have been feeling. I have been caught off guard in some pretty uncomfortable ways lately. These situations have been in my face and hard to run from or ignore. No kid gloves for me or subtlety. I have been asking for clarity and Morrigan has dished it up. Be careful what you ask for… Freedom has also been a theme this year, kind of running in the background. I have started asking myself, why do I feel like a caged bird, and when did I feel freedom. What was happening in my life during that time, why is that gone now, and how do I cultivate it again.

People hurt me. When they do I run from other things that I love. It isn’t the people from my past that I miss so much as the work, the projects, and the purpose. I am a sensitive soul and I have allowed aggressive people to take away my power and other things I once felt passionate about. I have to learn not to give them my power, I have to learn to tune out the haters. This might sound simple but trust me it is some of the hardest spiritual work I have ever done. An old friend described me the other day as fearless, courageous, brave, amazing, and tenacious. I was dumbfounded, I don’t know that version of myself anymore. I’m searching for her now. Morrigan says there is work to be done and I better get ready.

D

May Is Here!

May is finally here and I am so happy to see this month. The skies are much less gray and gloomy. I have had the opportunity to be out in nature and that is always good for the soul. Beltane was a quiet one this year but I’m not complaining. I was able to rest and call in some good energy. My focus this month has been on calling in male energy. I have fallen out of the habit of working with male deities. I only realized this morning that the full moon will be upon us in a couple of days. It falls in Scorpio which is not the best placement for me. My head is buzzing with ideas for the full moon but I will need to proceed with caution.

My Morrigan tools are still a work in progress. The doll is finished and now I am working on a wand. I’m also about to start another piece that will act as a trivet for my altar. Lastly, I am focused on Morrigan’s shapeshifting aspect. I have been rereading and working through Stephanie Woodfield’s book “Celtic Lore and Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess, Invoking The Morrigan.” There is so much juicy stuff in there! All of this work with Morrigan has reminded me of the power I have and has encouraged me to work more magick.

I have nothing earth-shattering to report. The world has continued to turn and I continue to try to connect to Spirit. I will post some new photos soon!

D

Morrigan Doll

I made a Morrigan doll per her request and I kind of love it! It was a process considering Mercury is retro and so I struggled mightily with the simple task of sewing. Now I plan to move onto the task of making a Morrigan wand. I found a lovely stick I want to use it for that purpose. I feel like I have been infused with energy and inspiration. Along with that, I feel like my connection to the divine is wide open. This often happens leading up to Beltane so I’m not super surprised, but I am delighted. I’m trying to take advantage of the energy boost while I have it. Breakthroughs are wonderful and I’m very grateful right now.

D

Full Moon Musings: Knock Knock

I’m feeling super energized! My practice has been infused with fresh inspiration. My matron deity has been knocking on my door, and that knocking has become louder and louder. She (Morrigan) knows how to get my attention and I know better than to ignore her. Because of the recent flurry of activity with her, I know there are things I need to do. I feel she has laid in my path a bunch of things to inspire me and maybe make the road a bit easier. I’m grateful.

I have been so stuck. I have not known how to move ahead, or even what I wanted to move ahead towards. I’m still not sure but at least I have some vision. I can see the ways this fresh vision ties into the old visions I once had. I feel like I can capture some of my old desires but with a fresh twist. There is much work to be done, but it feels good to have something new to sink my teeth into. I am aware of how vague this all sounds, as my vision becomes clearer I will share more.

What are your full moon plans? My wishes for you are full moon blessings and safe passage through this retrograde period.

D

Making Time For Spirituality

I have been neglecting my spirituality. It isn’t that I haven’t been practicing, it is that I have not been engaging my heart. Recently I spent a lot of time working on my heart and I feel like this is the final phase. My practice has become very practical and results driven. That Capricorn moon of mine probably has something to do with this. Something has been missing and today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is my devotion. I’m devoted to my craft but my devotion to my gods has been slipping. I think this is all a part of the heart issue I was having in other areas of my life. That chakra was so blocked and I had built up some pretty serious walls around my heart. It had become hard for me to receive love from others and my creativity was nowhere to be found.

I think this was the last hiding place for me because I have been so hurt by pagans. This healing process has been long and each time I think I have reached the end there is more there. I fear I have let the pain of stepping away from community drain my passion and devotion for my gods. I have to remind myself that community is indeed separate from my relationship with my deities. I am still a priestess of Morrigan. I may be working in other ways but that will never change. I was reminded today of when she chose me and how I once interacted with her.

Once this all hit me, I decided that today is the day. I think one of the reasons my devotion has slipped is because I simply do not make time for it. I do all the practical stuff, the stuff that meets needs and gives answers. What is left behind is time to just be with Morrigan. Time to meditate on her and tend to my altar. I have been telling myself that there isn’t time for all that, but it has really been about me not wanting to access my heart.

I did a lovely meditation today and I feel very renewed by it. I practiced having an open heart and I let myself breathe and accept what my guide had to give. No one ever said being a witch was easy! I am grateful for the struggle.

D

Full Moon Snow Magick

Today I wanted to honor the full moon with some water magick, snow magick to be specific. I have been wanting to work with water ever since I felt a tug from Melusina. After studying her myth I had the realization that I’m out of balance. My heart is all bound up and behind walls. Because of past pain, I have become militant about protecting my sensitive heart. Boundaries are good but feeling nothing is not. I have been feeling super flat and unable to laugh or cry. This is no way for a witch to live and it can have a negative effect on my magickal work. I used aquamarine, rose quartz, and blue topaz on my heart chakra to help open things up. I placed snow on my heart and let it melt. I asked the gods/goddesses to help me melt away the bonds on my heart and aid in healing my wounds. I called on Morrighan, Melusine, and Skadi to help. For the male aspect, I called in Pan, Poseidon, and Odin. I know these seem like odd combinations, but I work with all of them and I felt they all offered help. My goal was to gain healing and to thaw my frozen heart. Now my heart feels very full and heavy. I think I need to have a good cry even though there is nothing making me sad in this moment. As the walls and chains melt away I suspect that pain is what is behind all that. This Gemini full moon is all about self-care, if you are a Gemini, and I intend to take the time to let my tears flow.

candle-light

stones

altar

Lastly, I listened to music with a water theme and that inspired me to create a water playlist. I hope you all have a productive full moon.

BB

Debbie

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