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The Temple Within

Musings of a polytheistic witch

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Morrighan

Revisiting Restoration

Every Samhain I pick a word of the year. That word will guide my journey until the next Samhain. My word for this year is Restoration. I knew this word would be a tough one but it kept coming up over and over. If there is one thing I know, you should not ignore the Universe. Restoration has been hard to get a handle on. The first half of the year was not easy. That makes sense, in order to restore you have to remove dead wood and drive fresh nails. In order to restore you have to know what you are restoring to. During this process, I have spent time combing over the past and trying to recall the parts of myself that have been lost. I have examined relationships and projects I once cared about. I have been thinking about ambition, passion, and fear. Things really started to heat up around the last Mercury retrograde, then things became really hot at the last full moon in Scorpio. Since then I have been feeling really overwhelmed by the energy of this work. Do you ever feel like the gods are f*cking with you? That is how I have been feeling. I have been caught off guard in some pretty uncomfortable ways lately. These situations have been in my face and hard to run from or ignore. No kid gloves for me or subtlety. I have been asking for clarity and Morrigan has dished it up. Be careful what you ask for… Freedom has also been a theme this year, kind of running in the background. I have started asking myself, why do I feel like a caged bird, and when did I feel freedom. What was happening in my life during that time, why is that gone now, and how do I cultivate it again.

People hurt me. When they do I run from other things that I love. It isn’t the people from my past that I miss so much as the work, the projects, and the purpose. I am a sensitive soul and I have allowed aggressive people to take away my power and other things I once felt passionate about. I have to learn not to give them my power, I have to learn to tune out the haters. This might sound simple but trust me it is some of the hardest spiritual work I have ever done. An old friend described me the other day as fearless, courageous, brave, amazing, and tenacious. I was dumbfounded, I don’t know that version of myself anymore. I’m searching for her now. Morrigan says there is work to be done and I better get ready.

D

May Is Here!

May is finally here and I am so happy to see this month. The skies are much less gray and gloomy. I have had the opportunity to be out in nature and that is always good for the soul. Beltane was a quiet one this year but I’m not complaining. I was able to rest and call in some good energy. My focus this month has been on calling in male energy. I have fallen out of the habit of working with male deities. I only realized this morning that the full moon will be upon us in a couple of days. It falls in Scorpio which is not the best placement for me. My head is buzzing with ideas for the full moon but I will need to proceed with caution.

My Morrigan tools are still a work in progress. The doll is finished and now I am working on a wand. I’m also about to start another piece that will act as a trivet for my altar. Lastly, I am focused on Morrigan’s shapeshifting aspect. I have been rereading and working through Stephanie Woodfield’s book “Celtic Lore and Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess, Invoking The Morrigan.” There is so much juicy stuff in there! All of this work with Morrigan has reminded me of the power I have and has encouraged me to work more magick.

I have nothing earth-shattering to report. The world has continued to turn and I continue to try to connect to Spirit. I will post some new photos soon!

D

Morrigan Doll

I made a Morrigan doll per her request and I kind of love it! It was a process considering Mercury is retro and so I struggled mightily with the simple task of sewing. Now I plan to move onto the task of making a Morrigan wand. I found a lovely stick I want to use it for that purpose. I feel like I have been infused with energy and inspiration. Along with that, I feel like my connection to the divine is wide open. This often happens leading up to Beltane so I’m not super surprised, but I am delighted. I’m trying to take advantage of the energy boost while I have it. Breakthroughs are wonderful and I’m very grateful right now.

D

Full Moon Musings: Knock Knock

I’m feeling super energized! My practice has been infused with fresh inspiration. My matron deity has been knocking on my door, and that knocking has become louder and louder. She (Morrigan) knows how to get my attention and I know better than to ignore her. Because of the recent flurry of activity with her, I know there are things I need to do. I feel she has laid in my path a bunch of things to inspire me and maybe make the road a bit easier. I’m grateful.

I have been so stuck. I have not known how to move ahead, or even what I wanted to move ahead towards. I’m still not sure but at least I have some vision. I can see the ways this fresh vision ties into the old visions I once had. I feel like I can capture some of my old desires but with a fresh twist. There is much work to be done, but it feels good to have something new to sink my teeth into. I am aware of how vague this all sounds, as my vision becomes clearer I will share more.

What are your full moon plans? My wishes for you are full moon blessings and safe passage through this retrograde period.

D

Making Time For Spirituality

I have been neglecting my spirituality. It isn’t that I haven’t been practicing, it is that I have not been engaging my heart. Recently I spent a lot of time working on my heart and I feel like this is the final phase. My practice has become very practical and results driven. That Capricorn moon of mine probably has something to do with this. Something has been missing and today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is my devotion. I’m devoted to my craft but my devotion to my gods has been slipping. I think this is all a part of the heart issue I was having in other areas of my life. That chakra was so blocked and I had built up some pretty serious walls around my heart. It had become hard for me to receive love from others and my creativity was nowhere to be found.

I think this was the last hiding place for me because I have been so hurt by pagans. This healing process has been long and each time I think I have reached the end there is more there. I fear I have let the pain of stepping away from community drain my passion and devotion for my gods. I have to remind myself that community is indeed separate from my relationship with my deities. I am still a priestess of Morrigan. I may be working in other ways but that will never change. I was reminded today of when she chose me and how I once interacted with her.

Once this all hit me, I decided that today is the day. I think one of the reasons my devotion has slipped is because I simply do not make time for it. I do all the practical stuff, the stuff that meets needs and gives answers. What is left behind is time to just be with Morrigan. Time to meditate on her and tend to my altar. I have been telling myself that there isn’t time for all that, but it has really been about me not wanting to access my heart.

I did a lovely meditation today and I feel very renewed by it. I practiced having an open heart and I let myself breathe and accept what my guide had to give. No one ever said being a witch was easy! I am grateful for the struggle.

D

Full Moon Snow Magick

Today I wanted to honor the full moon with some water magick, snow magick to be specific. I have been wanting to work with water ever since I felt a tug from Melusina. After studying her myth I had the realization that I’m out of balance. My heart is all bound up and behind walls. Because of past pain, I have become militant about protecting my sensitive heart. Boundaries are good but feeling nothing is not. I have been feeling super flat and unable to laugh or cry. This is no way for a witch to live and it can have a negative effect on my magickal work. I used aquamarine, rose quartz, and blue topaz on my heart chakra to help open things up. I placed snow on my heart and let it melt. I asked the gods/goddesses to help me melt away the bonds on my heart and aid in healing my wounds. I called on Morrighan, Melusine, and Skadi to help. For the male aspect, I called in Pan, Poseidon, and Odin. I know these seem like odd combinations, but I work with all of them and I felt they all offered help. My goal was to gain healing and to thaw my frozen heart. Now my heart feels very full and heavy. I think I need to have a good cry even though there is nothing making me sad in this moment. As the walls and chains melt away I suspect that pain is what is behind all that. This Gemini full moon is all about self-care, if you are a Gemini, and I intend to take the time to let my tears flow.

candle-light

stones

altar

Lastly, I listened to music with a water theme and that inspired me to create a water playlist. I hope you all have a productive full moon.

BB

Debbie

My Month With Anu

My month with Anu has come to a close and I am very grateful. It did not play out as I expected. I thought it would be a month full of ritual and meditation. What it became was a month of connection with my ancestors and a new appreciation for where I came from. Many puzzle pieces in my life came together quietly and simply. Working with Anu opened my eyes making it easier for me to see what needs to change. It wasn’t jarring or overwhelming, it was a gentle recognition of the places where I have lost myself. I don’t want to give too much away as much of this is deeply personal. What I can say is I feel stronger about trusting my intuition than I have ever felt. Ritual is wonderful, but it is not the end all be all of my connection with the divine.  Sometimes she whispers to me on the wind and no candles are required. That is what my Samhain experience was like this year.

D

A Month of Devotion

September has been a rough month for me. Nothing big and bad happening, I’ve just been having some health issues. I’m feeling much better now and I’m ready to start preparing for Samhain. Samhain is my favorite time of year and I tend to do some big magick and spiritual work during this time. I’m feeling inspired to complete a month of devotion. My plan is to work with Anu every day for the month of October. I have been working with Anu over the last year but I’m feeling the need to really focus right now. I’m also going to focus on meditation because I have become kind of lazy in that area.

Do you have any plans for the month of October? Do you celebrate Samhain and if so how do you plan for it?

D

Magick Makeup

I like makeup. I don’t wear it all the time, but when I do I like the way it makes me feel. When I was a kid we belonged to a church that did not allow makeup. We were members of The United Pentecostal Church. We also could not cut our hair, wear jewelry or pants. Around the time I was 14 or so I started really being curious about makeup. I’m sure that my discovery of Madonna had something to do with this. We were not supposed to watch tv or listen to the radio but occasionally I snuck and did it. I thought I was so rebellious, now I have to kind of smile when I think about my minor sins.  I was almost kicked out of the UPC school I went to for trying to get by with clear nail polish. When I was feeling particularly rebellious I would sneak on some blush or lip gloss. They did not notice that too much, but we sure heard tons of sermons about the evils of being a Jezebel. I just could not understand how having shiny fingernails would cause a man to fall into sin. That made no more sense to me than how seeing my upper arm would cause a man to fall. The reality is none of the UPC holiness standards kept me safe from being molested by one of their ministers. The UPC church is riddled with sexual misconduct. All of the sermons about how evil everything is seems to only feed a hunger for it.

When I left the church one of the first things I did was start wearing makeup. It was a way to experiment with different personas. The church was all about making all of the women look the same. I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted freedom and I wanted to be able to express myself through my clothing and makeup. As I was putting on my makeup the other day I thought of how much the act of putting it on was a symbol. A symbol of freedom and individuality. I also thought about how much I use it as part of my magickal expression. My primary deity is Morrighan. When I am trying to embody her my makeup looks different than usual. I use makeup as armor. I wear my makeup in certain ways when I want to be left alone or when I feel I need extra shielding. I may add jewelry to enhance the effect. If I had to name the look I am going for when I want to carry Morrighan energy, I would call it Crow. Dark eyes, hair down, crow pendant and dark lipstick. You can also use makeup as ritual prep, to help you prepare to shift consciousness.

Isn’t funny how something that seems so ordinary to most people can take on a special meaning? Most people would not see the significance in applying makeup. For me, it symbolizes my freedom from an oppressive faith and god. It represents my ability to choose how I present myself and that is really meaningful.

As a side note, I have used makeup to invoke elemental characteristics as well. I’m happy to help if anyone has questions about this part of my practice.

D

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