Tuesdays are a devotional day for me. I will sometimes bring Morrighan a token or devote a work out to her. Other times I will talk with her about whatever things are going on in my life. I feel when you choose to walk with Morrighan you are not choosing an easy path. She seems to choose those who challenge themselves and she almost always has a challenge for me. Her challenges never feel like a burden and I know that I will be better for having taken her up on it.
Right now my main challenge has been dealing with my health issues. I felt like she was telling me way back at Samhain that this year was going to be very self-focused. I felt a little guilty choosing that path but I trust her and so that is the direction I started to walk. Soon I found out why that was needed and I’m so glad that she gave me the heads up about it. I’m starting to see that part of the challenge is living life to the fullest and not just moving from commitment to commitment. I have also been focusing on turning down all the negative noise in my life which means less time on social media. The world may need me but I need me more.
Over this waning moon period, I have been working on letting go of any lingering guilt or shame that I feel but that doesn’t really belong to me. Each time I work on this process it gets easier and there is less to let go of. For the new moon, I’m planning to set intentions around positivity and not letting my illness rule my life. I can’t believe that Imbolc is just a few weeks away! Before you know it we will be enjoying spring.:) The wheel keeps turning…
Do you have a primary deity? How do you honor that deity?
I hope that all of you had a lovely Samhain season. I had a restful week taking time away from social media and allowing myself to turn inward. My solitary time was nice as well as the time I spent with my coven. We had a surprise early snowfall this year here in Wisconsin which made things feel a little off. I think the Mercury retrograde just added to that sensation.
My word for the year is Self. I’m working on self-love, self-trust, and self-respect. My card for the year is the King of Wands! I have never pulled a king card for my yearly card so that will be cool to work with. Joey Morris was pulling Ogham cards on Facebook the other day and she pulled Hawthorn or Huathe for me. Lastly, at our coven ritual, I pulled Inguz as my token. So there is lots to chew on there over the coming dark season. I’d like to work on a vision board at some point.
Now that the dust has settled some I’m going to take a day off to rest and just breathe. How was your Samhain? Did you celebrate alone or with others? Did you have any big takeaways?
I have been feeling weird. I love October and everything that comes with it but this year just feels off to me. I’m not digging this Mercury Retrograde shadow so I suspect that the actual thing is really going to piss me off. I have been moving between wanting to spend time with people and wanting to be left alone. Feeling love for humanity and wanting to punch something really hard. The ancestors are making their presence known this year but in a kind of in your face sort of way. I feel like my home is crowded even when I’m all alone. I’m trying to tone back some of my constant work on balance because I’m beginning to see that in a way it is not natural. There is a balance between the seasons but summer is never trying to be both summer and winter at the same time. But that is another post for another day. Right now I’m trying to allow myself to feel what I feel without judgment. I’m also being very mindful of my interactions with others because I have been feeling kind of punchy and it can come through in my communications with people I care about. My physical energy has been all over the place as well, at times I’m raring to go and feeling passionate and energized and at other times I’m wiped out and I just want to hide in my blankets. Boy when the tired hits it hits hard! To manage this weird energy I have been talking with Morrighan and Dagda more and seeking the help of my house full of ancestors.
How are you managing the energy floating out there right now?
I have been feeling a little off the last couple of weeks. It isn’t that I have been feeling bad it’s more that I have been feeling numb and stuck. Last night after doing my full moon work I started to feel a breakthrough coming. Spirit gave me a gentle reminder that when I tend to my spiritual practice I can make things happen and that I have more power to change my world than I sometimes believe I do. I tried my best to listen to my intuition and the messages coming from Morrighan and then suddenly it all bubbled up. For a long long time, I have been working to release scarcity and it feels like it is never totally gone. Facing another Samhain and contemplating what I want to let go of led me to think about scarcity again. Part of my process is to dig deeper and turn things over in my mind to see if I’m missing something. All this introspection led me to something that seems simple but also something I never considered. This thing bleeds over into so many parts of my life and in some pretty profound ways. I don’t trust myself. I’m worried about losing control. This all leads back to childhood as most roads do and I don’t intend to get into all of that today.
It isn’t scarcity that I fear, I fear that I might make stupid money choices leaving me without enough. This leads to hating money and never enjoying spending it. I’m always working to attract abundance and money but how can you attract something that you hate? This also impacts my body acceptance issues. I don’t trust myself to eat right or to know how often I should exercise. When my body tells me it needs rest in the afternoon my internal talk is always about how I shouldn’t need rest. All this needs to change. I’m going to work on letting go of the distrust I have concerning listening to my inner voice. I already know that deep self-love needs to happen next year so I’m going to let go of the voices that tell me that I do not deserve love. Lastly, I need to work on self-respect. I need to listen to and respect the needs that I often ignore. That is a lot but it is all-important work and it is all connected.
This bleeds over into the community work I want to do next year. I have to trust my inner wisdom and know that I will make good choices when it comes to connections. It is the people part of the Pagan community that I fear. That fear is a big hump to get over but I know I can do it with the help of Spirit.
What messages did the universe send your way for the full moon? Do you plan to let go of things for Samhain?
Last week my mind was brimming with ideas but I didn’t want to put them into action until the new moon. Now that we are past that everything is starting to move forward and take off! I have added all my social media info into the about page so please connect with me on Instagram and Twitter. I’m excited to announce I have also started a closed FB group with the same name as this blog. Please feel free to ask to be a member over there. I’m also taking the leap into tarot readings and online coaching. If you are interested in any of that you can find info on the services page. Whew!
Have I mentioned it is the first day of October?! Or as I like to call it the first day of Halloween! It’s my favorite month of the year and so I’m planning to celebrate a little today. I intend to put up my Day of the Dead/ancestor altar today and will leave it up through the first week of November. I will also spruce up my main working altar space in honor of the Crone. Something about this time of year really gets my blood pumping. Here in Wisconsin, it is gloomy and raining. I think we are supposed to get some thunderstorms which only adds to the mood.
I take Samhain and The Day of the Dead very seriously. My practice is pretty Celtic in nature and that fits well with my ancestry on my mother’s side. On my father’s side my ancestors are from Mexico, so celebrating The Day of the Dead helps me to connect with them. Halloween is something that brings me joy and I feel that in and of itself is sacred. Each of these things is a part of what I consider to be the most sacred month of my year. Each has its own meaning and each adds something different to my practice. Yes, I consider Halloween part of my practice! Winter is hard for me due to Seasonal Affective Disorder and so I try to store up as much joy as I can before that hits hard. Halloween makes me so happy.
I have been feeling the wheel turning me inward and I have already started to prepare myself for Samhain. Have you been feeling the pull to turn inward?
Recently I’ve found myself struggling with serious financial challenges. Out-of-work-for-three-months-will-I-make-the-next-mortgage-payment challenges. I’ve been working hard on both the mundane and magickal fronts to find a job and to cobble together enough money to keep us afloat in the meantime.
On the magickal front this has mostly meant talking with the deities I commonly work with (Brigid and Lugh) and doing some rather elaborate candle magick. In spite of this, and in spite of consistently positive tarot readings that essentially said “good things are coming,” I still didn’t have a job offer and the point where we would have missed the first mortgage and car payments was less than a month away.
It was at this point that my lovely wife, priestess, and owner of this blog suggested I try searching for a deity to work with who specialized in wealth and plenty. As a starting point she handed me Edain McCoy’s Celtic Myth & Magick open to p. 379 which contains a list of 28 celtic deities and demigods associated with prosperity and abundance. Among the handful of names I recognized and the large number I didn’t, one name jumped out at me – Habondia. I have no mundane explanation for why I focused on that name other than that I liked the sound of it, but in hindsight I believe Dame Habondia was the one on that list who was seeking my attention.
Celtic Myth & Magick says that Habondia “was a Goddess of abundance and prosperity, demoted to a ‘mere witch’ in medieval English lore.” It further notes that she is descended from a Germanic goddess, that she was sometimes equated with the Deae Matres (a triple earth mother goddess worshiped in Gaul), and that her symbols were the cornucopia and wheat.
A bit of internet research revealed further details concerning Habondia:
Patricia Telesco, in 365 Goddess: a Daily Guide to the Magic and Inspiration of the Goddess (cited at http://www.journeyingtothegoddess.wordpress.com), asserts that Her symbols include ale and fire, and that lighting any fire will draw her attention.
The unnamed author of http://www.holladaypaganism.com claims Habondia was adapted from the Roman goddess Abundantia and that her titles included Matron of Witches and Dame Habondia. Seeds, fruits, seedlings, eggs, babies, hamsters, and squirrels were sacred to Her.
Myth Woodling at http://www.AradiaGoddess.com says that “Habondia was one of the names of the medieval Queen of the Witches who led the ‘night flight.’ . . . She was . . . a nocturnal spirit as she was credited with entering the households of her followers at night to bring prosperity.”
Working from these bits of information and my own intuition, I composed a prayer/invocation that appealed to Her for help in meeting my financial needs:
Queen of Abundance,
Matron of Witches,
Visit my home this night.
Shower Your gifts upon me
so that I may prosper tomorrow
and in all the years to come.
I honor You for Your graciousness
and generosity my Lady, and pray that
Your name may
once again be on the lips
of the wise and cunning
throughout the earth.
The next evening before bed I opened a window, lit a candle on the windowsill, and surrounded it with apple seeds as an offering. I spoke aloud my fears for our finances and recited the invocation above three times. As I did so I felt a presence watching from the trees outside the window which I took to be Habondia. I left the candle burning and the window open and went to bed.
The next morning, one of my small but regular sources of income deposited three weeks’ worth of payment instead of one week’s into our checking account.
Naturally, I called them to point out the error. They insisted there was no error and that they had only deposited a single week’s payment. Though I expected they would one day discover their mistake and require the money back, for now it was a god(dess) send.
I had heard of people having this kind of result from working with a deity or doing a spell for money, but I had neither seen nor experienced it. And yes, of course it could have been a coincidence. So I repeated the experiment, conducting the same ritual two days later before going to bed.
The next day an unexpected check arrived from a relative who knew I was struggling. A check large enough to buy me more time to find a job.
I’m continuing to work with Habondia, asking more specifically for aid in finding a job that will insure long-term abundance. While being very grateful for Her gifts that are keeping a roof over our heads right now.
And I’m spreading the word that Habondia, an all-but-forgotten celtic goddess, is alive and well and willing to aid anyone who calls upon Her name.
It feels like autumn and I am thrilled about it. Autumn is when I feel the most alive and inspired. My hope is that I can really soak it all in this year and through that have enough energy to get me through the winter. The last couple of weeks have been so fruitful in the magick department. I created a ritual to reconnect and rededicate myself to my journey as a priestess. This seems to always happen this time of the year. I never plan it that way it just seems to be the right time. So once again I am faced with the question, “What are you willing to do in order to deepen your practice?” Along with this I have been thinking some about Mabon and what I want to harvest. In some ways I think I have that harvest already but who knows there might be more coming. I am also starting to think about my word of the year. I always chose a new word at Samhain so around this time I start writing down possibilities. Usually about three days before Samhain I feel pretty sure about what the word will be.
Last night I worked my full moon ritual and took a moonlit walk with my husband and dog. The ritual was lovely and personal. I talked so much over with Morrighan. We have been doing so much of that lately. Just talking and I have been making more time to be quiet and listen. Sometimes my practice is more about the magick and some times it is more about connection with the Goddess. Right now I’m in a very intense season of connection. I’m so grateful for this path that I’m on because the world can be a very harsh place and at time I feel so powerless. Morrighan reminds me of my ability to create change.
Did you do anything special to celebrate the full moon?