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The Temple Within

Musings of a polytheistic witch

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Spending A Season With Water

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I have been working with water for a season. I would love to be able to report back that all of my work has been successful. The truth is this is very hard work for me. Too much water makes me feel so heavy and (remember I am a Gemini) not enough makes me feel empty.

water-two

Strangely enough, I feel best when I’m working with water solo. I can commune with it in the tub, or at my local park. Alone with water, it is healing for me, but when I start to involve others it gets kind of out of control. Being an empath I’m always trying to figure out which energy is mine and what belongs to others. People with lots of water in their charts can be hard for me to be around for long periods of time. Boundaries, always working on boundaries.

water-three

I think the biggest lesson I have learned is that I am simply not built for tons of water. Where water comes into play in my life the wells run deep, but it isn’t where I feel at home. I most want to be up in the sky with the birds or nestled down on the grass with the mother.

water-four

For now, I am going to give my water work a rest. I need to bring myself back into balance and what I need most is fire and some air.

water-five

 

 

Challenges of the Queen Archetype

I have been working with the queen archetype for a long time. Something has felt off to me and so now I’m trying to identify where I am being challenged. When I really think about it I have always identified with the queen, sometimes more than others. Being alone so much during childhood caused me to develop this archetype. I was the queen of my life and domain because it was just me and my dog. My parents were mostly absent. I chose how my day-to-day played out in a way that most children never experience. From an early age, I managed my kingdom and took on responsibility.

Now that the duties of motherhood are passing through my fingers I know it is time to move more into the role of queen. For about 5 years now I have been feeling pulled in this direction. The issue is that it never feels quite right. When I look back to other points in my adulthood I can see myself playing the role of queen even if the mother archetype was center stage. So why am I struggling so much now?

So far this is what I have figured out, due to my bad experiences in the pagan community, being in relationships where I gave up my power and raising teens I have lost touch with the queen archetype. Realizing how this archetype is tied to my childhood and that it has been with me my whole life brings into focus why I have been feeling so off lately. When you are not able to fully be yourself, when you are shutting parts of yourself down, then you’re going to feel off.

When trying to figure this all out I had to look at the shadow side of the queen to see if I had taken on any of those characteristics. The shadow of the queen is:

Demanding

Arrogant

Black and white thinking

Unmerciful

Unable to receive

Cold

Distant

I always struggle with being arrogant, because I am so aware of that I do a good job of keeping it in check. I may be a tad more cold and distant but not to an extreme. I don’t think I have taken on much of the shadow side. I have simply shut down that part of myself. So now the question is how do I draw that energy back to me?

One thing that has been made clear to me as I have studied this archetype is that the queen must be able to receive. Receiving is a tough challenge for me to take on. I struggle to truly receive love and to trust enough to let people help me. A queen has to feel empowered. This is a daily challenge for me, in some ways I feel super empowered and in other ways, it is clear to me that I have given my power away. Lastly, the queen cultivates purpose. This is the meat of my struggles. This empty nest has left me seeking purpose and not being sure of myself in this area for the first time in my life.

Well, I guess I have my full moon work cut out for me! Lucky for me the moon is in the majestic sign of Leo. The moon in Leo is one of my favorite placements. The lunar eclipse is a great time for openings and closings, and it is an explosive time for creativity. Warm up your cauldrons this is a good time to get some work done!

D

 

 

Letting Go

The moon is waning and my heart is pouring out into the universe all the things it wishes to let go of. In order to do this great restoration project I’m working on I need to make room. Every month I find things to let go of but this month feels different. I feel so much pouring out of me. Now that my heart is open and not barricaded behind walls I’m finding there is so much there I was unaware of. Sadness, fear, outdated relationships, old ideas, and just build up crap. I’m not afraid to let it all go, in fact, I’m excited!

letting-go In my little bowl, I placed all the things I wanted to burn away. I spoke them into the flame and watched them burn away. Softly I sang to myself that it was ok to let go.

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Contained within my letting go was rage, sadness, and relief. It feels good to be a witch and to know that I have the power to shape my world and myself.

Waning moon blessings,

D

November Witchy Days

I have decided that I want to get back to my witchy roots. Part of this is paying more attention to dates that matter to me and my practice.

Moon Dates: Full Moon in Taurus Nov.14, 2016

New Moon Nov. 29, 2016 in Sagittarius

Night of Hecate: Nov. 16, 2016

Sun moves into Sagittarius: Nov. 21, 2016

Did I miss any days?

D

 

Weekly Tarot-Four of Cups Reversed

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At first glance I thought this card might be a bad one, but it was a pleasant surprise.

Key words: Renewed interest, motivation, enthusiasm, moving forward, letting go, new experiences and people.

After thinking about it I realize that this card is perfect for where I am right now. I have been sorting and sifting through the bad community experiences I have had. This has been going on for a long time and every time I think it is over there is another layer there to overcome. In the end what has helped me the most is talking with others who have had similar experiences and doing some powerful shadow work. I have had to really dig deep to discover why I made the choices I made and why I reacted the way I did. Shadow work can be brutal and it requires heaps of self-compassion. This work has led me to a renaissance in my own practice. Along with negative community, I have left behind practices that no longer serve me, and I have embraced new practices. Some of this journey has led me back to where I started when I first found witchcraft. I’m at this wonderful place where my practice feels juicy again.

The time for being hurt is over, or so this card can sometimes say. I feel it might be right, I think I have reached the bottom of my pain with regards to community. I certainly have no plans to give that experience or those people any power over me anymore. Like attracts like. In the end, I was not like them and that is why it did not work. Such a simple answer, but there is so much truth there. I kept trying to find a way to fit in, now I no longer want that. My power, as a witch, has a lot to do with my being myself. I feel ready to connect with witches who want to share skills and ideas. I know I can learn from others and I’ve got some meaningful things to share. I want to share the craft with individuals and not groups. That is a powerful distinction.

D

Witchy Morning

This morning the weather has been truly lovely. The sun is shining gently and there is just the hint of a breeze. It was the perfect time to do some light gardening. Now that we live in a condo I don’t garden as much as I once did. I do keep house plants and plants out on my deck. We are lucky to have some yard space so I have some things planted out there too. Because is was not too hot, I decided to take Maverick out on the deck with me. He doesn’t spend too much time outside these days because it is so hot and Siberian Huskies are not overly fond of super warm weather.

Doggie

He was very good this morning. He just slept in the sun and enjoyed being outside. I had some repotting to do so I puttered around and got that done.

Sage

My sage was too big for the space it was in so I moved it to this pot. I love the smell of sage on my fingers. It has always been one of my favorite things to grow.

Rosemary

The rosemary needed a new home today too! Whenever I garden I like to take a bit to use as an offering.

Sage offering

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Once they dry out I will burn them at my hearth.

I feel so lucky this morning. I was able to enjoy the coolness of the morning and I was able to enjoy some quiet time.

“Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes.” ~Author Unknown

D

Magick Manifest

Hello Witches! I hope this fine May evening finds you doing well. We finally saw some sun today! Here is a photo of some lovely flowers I found.

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I had one goal for Beltane, I had to find a way to set myself free. I was feeling heavy, weighed down by sadness and pressure. I had shrunk myself and ceased to be authentic. I was acting from fear. Afraid of being hurt if I let my true self shine through.

“Freedom
Freedom
I can’t move
Freedom, cut me loose
Singin’, freedom
Freedom
Where are you?
‘Cause I need freedom too” Beyonce

This world can be tough on those of us who don’t fit in. The magical ones, the sensitive ones, those who color outside the lines. The grind of trying to fit in when you don’t can really wear on a person. Ultimately I took some big action and quit my job. It was proving to be pretty toxic to me and I had been staying out of a false sense of duty. I knew I was going to have quit soon but I had not pulled the trigger on it yet. 

“I break chains all by myself
Won’t let my freedom rot in hell
Hey! I’ma keep running
‘Cause a winner don’t quit on themselves” Beyonce

I think all of these retrogrades played a part in keeping me stuck. My mind has been muddy and I just couldn’t achieve any forward motion. Then yesterday something shifted. The energy felt different and so I struck while the iron was hot. Just that one action caused a big change. I feel like I can breathe again. I spent the day outside with my daughter soaking up the natural world, and best of all the sunshine. There is a lot of work left to do, but I feel like I have made a great start and I can already feel a huge energy shift.

Part of the magick has been meditation. Talking with Morrigan never hurts. The biggest thing I did was immerse myself in the energy of freedom. I have danced and listened to music about freedom. I have read poetry and historical quotes about freedom. I have bit my lip and acted from my heart. A dash of this and a dash of that plus some serious intent have made manifest my Beltane wish.

What was your Beltane wish? Have you worked any juicy magick lately?

D

Morrigan, Queen of the Witches

This is amazing!

GODS & RADICALS

“The witch has been created by the land to speak and act for it.” -Peter Grey, Rewilding Witchcraft

When I took Iron Pentacle, one of Reclaiming’s core classes, I had only the vaguest idea of who the Morrigan was. I knew she had something to do with crows. There was an intense-looking statue in the shop that hosted the class. She was Celtic? I didn’t know. I didn’t think about it.

Overall I’m very happy in the Reclaiming Tradition, but our approach to deity–at least, in my particular community–can feel a bit like a gumball machine at times, with a different god and goddess invoked for every ritual, class, or planning meeting. At best, our relationships to these deities can feel a bit shallow unless we work with them personally. At worst, gods–whether they’re entities or archetypes–sometimes don’t even show up. Halfway through the evening you realize you’ve forgotten who…

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January Full Moon

I am soooo glad that this Mercury Retrograde is about over. Most of the time I can breeze through these damn things but this one was an exception. Nothing really went haywire for me but the people around me were not so lucky. In the end, I could not shield myself from all of the crud that was flying around. Because of this, I went into this full moon cycle feeling pretty drained and kind of wanting to hide from the world. By about half way through the retrograde, I was ready to dive under my blankets and wait for it to be over. This retrograde seemed to have a slightly different theme this time around. I read about it before it happened so I should not have been surprised. The theme was uncovering secrets. There were some folks around me that had some doozies. I would like to say that those secrets did not affect me but that is not the case. They do affect me and in some cases, they have turned my life upside down.

I am ok. I have been spending the full moon energy to right my ship. Yesterday I focused solely on self-care and balance. I also had to keep reminding myself that I can only control myself and my actions. I have taken this time to see friends and spend time talking with family. Now that the full moon is over I feel like I have my feet under me again. Here is a pic I took of the full moon view from our driveway.

Full Moon

D

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