Search

The Temple Within

Musings of a polytheistic witch

Category

Witch

The Healing Power Of Nature

I have been feeling raw due to everything going on in the news. The holiday season has blessed me with traditional holiday stress as well. Yesterday my spirit was calling for nature and so I decided to bundle up and head out to the park. Maverick (my doggie) was more than happy to accompany me on my journey. It started to snow pretty hard when we were driving over. I tend to experience snow as peaceful and healing so I was delighted to see the flakes start to dance down from the sky. We had the park to ourselves and the silence was delicious. When I’m walking my dog I do not look at my phone. I try to just let it be us out there with no distractions.

Generally, I like the winter holidays. I celebrate secular Christmas, along with all of my favorite pagan winter holidays. Winter Solstice is the most prominent as a part of my spiritual practice. It reminds me that it is ok to be like the rest of nature, quiet. Here in Wisconsin nothing is really growing or blooming. Nature is resting and so am I. I tend to turn inward at this time of the year. Not to shy away from people but to give myself time to restore and dream of what I want to manifest in the spring. I’m also reminded of how dark the world can be. I try to share my light when I can. This means taking more time to listen to my loved ones and be as present as possible.

From my window, I can see a lovely tree. She has no leaves but stands proudly and is still beautiful without her green decor. She symbolizes hope and the beauty of the crone. She reminds me that life is still there and will return in the spring. She will have leaves again after her winter nap. She also reminds me that as youthful beauty fades it is replaced by a different beauty. Over the years naked winter trees have become one of my favorite things to photograph. For me, they represent strength and inner truth, the beauty of the soul that lasts even after outer beauty fades away.

How are you feeling as we head into the darkest time of the year?

Winter Trees
Maverick
Covered In Snow

This was taken at the start of our walk. I was totally covered in snow by the end!

Winter Berries
Snowy Nest
Queen Anne’s Lace
Frosted

D

Advertisements

Untethered

Today I am giving in to feeling untethered. During this autumn season, it can be so easy for me to become ungrounded. There is this part of me that longs to be between worlds. The world feels heavy now and the constant flow of bad news pouring out at me is overwhelming. Yesterday I spent a good deal of my free time reading and working on my BOS. I burned some cedar incense and just let myself get lost for a spell in the spirit world. I think I’m going to allow myself a season of this, maybe a few more days. The holidays are rushing at us all now and soon enough I will feel the stress of it all and I will be struggling for balance.

How are you handling this time of gray and moving into the darkness?

D

 

Samhain Harvest

My Samhain harvest was wonderful and this year was a big year for manifestation. I’m feeling like all of my hard work paid off in a big way! I have many new things happening right now and I’m trying not to rush headlong into things. So far my new coven is working pretty well. This is my first attempt at having a teaching coven. In the past, I have tended to work with folks who were more seasoned. Teaching has always been a challenge and I have to keep reminding myself that I can inspire if I just put myself in the right headspace. I also made my first video for my new Youtube channel. I’m hoping through this channel I can meet some new people and build some new friendships and connections. The video is pretty far out of my comfort zone. I’m sure there will be negative folks out there. I have to keep reminding myself that negative people can just be ignored. My Etsy store is back up and I’m hoping to have some cool witchy items in there soon.

This last step in my year of restoration has brought me the greatest joy! When I am working on this area of my life I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be in the universe. It brings me so much happiness to know my heart still sings when I engage with helping others in their practice. Bliss is the word I’m reaching for. I know it will not always be easy. Dealing with the personalities can be really draining. That being said, helping others and seeing them really understand and grow is pretty uplifting.

I am grateful. I’m grateful for my craft, the gods and ancestors, and all the people who stood by me when things were hard.

How did your Samhain season go? Can you believe that Yule is right around the corner? I know I’m not ready for that!

Deb

Balance

Wow! Things have changed for me over the last week or so. Once I decided to start a new coven it feels like the whole universe has broken open for me. Between that and it being the Samhain season I am feeling a bit unbalance and I am having to try to reach towards being somewhat more grounded. The good part of all of this is I can feel delicious passionate energy for my craft rushing through my veins. I’m so grateful for that. This weekend my hubby and I will be heading out to the woods of Wisconsin for a little camping adventure. I think the trip will help me ground myself. It will be good to unplug and soak up some earth energy. How is your Samhain season going? Do you have any exciting plans?

D

New Life

It might seem like an odd time of year to be talking about new life but I have some to share. I have been wondering what my big harvest is going to be this year. What I have discovered is that starting a new coven is my big harvest. Now I knew this was coming but I did not think it would come this fast. That being said, the goddess (Morrighan) has been pushing me out of my comfort zone and back into the mix since last spring. I’m one of those people who plans and thinks about something and then when the time feels right I pull the trigger. I often can feel it coming but I just don’t know how soon. When it happens it usually surprises others but I’m often more than ready to go. My mind is buzzing with ideas and excitement at this new adventure. I feel truly restored after a year of working on it. I’m not as afraid as I thought I might be. I have done a lot of letting go and so I’m not so worried about what others will think or how they will respond. Don’t worry, I’m going to be careful to heed the lessons learned from the past. It feels good to be in the center of where I want to be after striving for so long.

What do you want to harvest at Samhain?

Samhain Letting Go: Servant

This one is kind of tied to motherhood but its roots are deeper than that. I was raised United Pentecostal and taught my whole childhood that women are the servants of the home. She has to submit to her husband and the home is pretty much her responsibility. I was also taught that women should be silent in church and I watched all the women around me doing the grunt work of running the church while the men took all of the glory. Now I’ve been a feminist witch for a long time and I do not still believe these teachings are right, at least not on a conscious level. That being said I do see how these teachings crept into some pretty hard to get to cracks of my mind. When something is taught to you from such a young age you often spend much of your adult life finding the remnants and trying to get free from them.

This letting go is about freedom and taking the time to serve myself. I feel that having a fresh empty nest is a good time to work on this. I have space now to focus on my needs and ambitions. I hope that no one thinks I’m trying to be selfish, it isn’t about being selfish it is about creating balance.

I know that my attitudes regarding all of this had a big effect on how I worked within the pagan community before I left. I came at it from a place of servitude. How can I serve the community? It did not take long for that to turn into me being taken advantage of. I can’t really blame myself, I was doing what I thought was right. Now if all things were equal and everyone had an attitude of service it might have been ok. It became about what I could do/provide for them and not about what I could get in return. All that giving is what burned me out. In the end, I was left with an empty cup. Now as I ponder rejoining some kind of pagan community I know my approach will be very different. I’m not going to be anyone’s servant. I will put my shoulder to the plough when it is needed but I will not do it alone.

All the blogging and journalling I have been doing about this is really helping me to gain clarity. I’m heading towards Samhain with a very good vision for what I need to release and what I want to bring in.

D

Samhain Letting Go: Motherhood

I know that I will always be a mother and I love my children very much. Motherhood has been a huge part of my identity and at times it has eclipsed everything else. I’m not saying I’m ready to shift into cronehood, it more that I’m ready to shift into queendom. It is time to let go of full-time motherhood. I spent 25 years having minor kids at home and now my nest is empty. Thankfully the goddess has helped me prepare for this and because of that, I’m handling it better than expected. I can only vaguely remember my life before motherhood. It exists in this dream-like place that is pretty hard to access. Now standing in my empty nest I can clearly see the daily sacrifices I have made. They add up to a mountain of time and compromise. I’m proud of the work I have done. At times I ache inside because I don’t feel like my kids see me or know who I really am. I think some of them are still in that selfish stage of life. I wonder if other mothers wish for their kids to see them as human and not as the superhuman role that is the mother. Letting go of this part of motherhood means daring to be who I’ve always wanted to be. I have no more excuses about being tied to raising children. So much is bundled up in this. I can wake when I want and sleep when I want. I can create in the midst of feverish inspiration. I don’t have to be home or away. There is much to unpack here. Some of the reason I want to let go of this role is that my kids need me to be different now. Plus they can be a rather judgemental lot, everything I do is scrutinized and analyzed. Do we think mom should be doing that? I know that some of them worry about my political activism and are worried that I might get hurt. They worry about what kind of job I’m going to take and how it might affect the family. Just as they need me to step back and let them make mistakes and live their life, I need to start living my own life. This means daring to do the things they might not approve of. It means living for me for the first time ever.

D

Samhain Letting Go: Fathers

I’m going to do some blogging about Samhain and letting go. The first thing on my list is fathers. In the simplest form, my father and all of the things he did to hurt me during my childhood and young adulthood. My father loved me, of that I have no doubt, but it was a very selfish kind of love. I feel like I have dealt with most of my issues with him but there is still a bit of work left to do. There are still ways in which I see his influence in how I see myself and my value. He was the first man to abandon me and because of that time and again I sought to find men who would do the same thing. Within my shadow lurks my father telling me time and again that my value is my beauty and that my intelligence (perhaps the trait I value most in myself) only exists because of him. I’m smart because I’m his daughter, I’m physically strong because he taught me to be, and I’m pretty because he was so handsome. Nothing came to me because of my hard work or because of my thoughts, that belong only to me. With this Samhain, I hope to root out the last of that pain and finally be able to no longer hear his voice in the back of my head. This is deep shadow work. My dad influenced both the things I like best and the things I like least about myself.

After all that it is time to turn my attention to my kid’s fathers. Looking back I see them as choices made from a place of desperation. Both of them brought destruction into my life and they both continue to lash out at me. They have been backseat drivers with regards to all of the work of parenting. Not around to do any of the heavy lifting (or spending) but always there to comment on my appearance and whatever life choices I might make. If the kids had success it was in spite of me and if they had troubles it was because of me. I have made a pretty big effort to remove them from my life, but still, they sit on the sidelines and heckle. My goal is to really let them go now that all of the kids have left the nest. I’m done receiving child support from them and so that cord is cut. Like my father, this is a rooting out of the last remnants of their influence. When they say things about me that are hurtful or untrue it still stings. It may be asking too much for that sting to go away but I’m gonna try.

All this matters so much because I’m stepping into a new phase in my life. No more kids at home and freedom to choose what I want to do and with whom I want to do it. Shadow work is afoot but I’m not worried, with the gods and my ancestors on my side I know I can do anything.

D

 

Celebrating Mabon

I started my Mabon celebrations today. My house smells amazing! This morning I went out before it got too hot and collected some things for an herbal/flower mix for Mabon offerings and ritual work. Some things I collected from my garden and others were found treasures.

I also baked some delicious apples and sweet potatoes! My kitchen smells amazing.

Tonight I plan to spend time with my hubby and dog, just soaking in the gratitude. So far my harvest has been a good one!

D

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑