Search

The Temple Within

Musings of a polytheistic witch

Restoration Vibrations

Restoration may have been my word for last year but the vibrations are still washing over me. Technically that word ended at Samhain and Create started, but the Universe runs on her own time. Last year after the election I had some of the darkest days I have ever had. In most respects, this past year was a dumpster fire. In my personal life, 2017 brought many ups and downs but more ups than downs. Restoration pushed me to engage with skills that I have not used in a very long time. I dusted off my old networking hat and organized the hell out of things. Last year started small and simple but the closer we got to the end (I’m not sure the Universe is done with me yet) the deeper it all went. Samhain came and went and I thought I was moving onto other things. The crone was waiting for me and she took me to some really dark places. Rooms in my childhood that have not been opened in a very long time. Memories flooded back and challenged me to see them in a new light. These rooms held deep wounds and it was pretty frightening pulling the curtain back, but with Her help, I faced those old demons and I’m glad I did. She showed me that there is support out there and that although my child self-suffered in silence my adult self could find understanding. Through this process, I have more compassion for my child self and I can see her for what she truly was, an innocent.

On the lighter side, I went back to dance class today. It was a very joyful experience. I felt the Goddess (may have been Bast) smiling down on and me and telling me this was Restoration too. I have not been to dance class for about 2 years. It felt good to shake off the stress of the holidays and engage with that part of myself that loves to get lost in the music.

Create/Creatrix has started as well. I have started a new coven and I have been creating systems and planning events. I am making lots of fiber art and writing more. It feels like Create is the reward for all of the Restoration I have been doing. I am super excited about spring and what that turn of the wheel will bring.

If any of you are thinking of working with Restoration make sure you are ready for it. Restoration is not an easy process but it is rewarding in the end. Do you have a word you are working with?

D

Advertisements

Skadi Season

Now that most of the holiday season has passed I’m turning my attention to Skadi. I started working with her a few winters ago and have worked with her every winter since. Depending on if you are looking at the Old Norse or Old English her name means either “harm” or “shadow.” This is perfect for me because I work with many shadow or so-called dark goddesses. I see her as a perfect winter deity. She helps me get out of the house and into the snow when all I want to do is stay inside and isolate myself. I suffer from depression and anxiety and it gets much worse in the winter. I use a light box to help with some of that, working with Skadi helps the other part. She is a giantess and is often seen as a patroness of winter survival and activities. I tend to meditate on her when I am out in nature or even when I’m just walking the dog around the neighborhood.

This year I want to focus on her in an even deeper way. I plan to leave more offerings and deepen my magickal work with her.  Her energy comes to me in a couple of ways. She feels like she is helping me with being hardy and able to keep it together during the darkest months, but she also seems to have an energy of fun around her. She shows up when I’m throwing snowballs at the dog or running in the snow when we are playing. Maybe that play is all a part of the survival aspect. For the first time this year, I have an image of her on my altar so that helps me maintain my focus. I also do other things like wearing special makeup or jewelry in honor of her.

Working with a figure like Skadi can be a challenge because there isn’t much info about her out there. In some ways, this can be a really good thing because it forces you to find your own way. Do any of you work with Skadi? I would love to hear how you incorporate her into your witchy goodness. Do you have other deities you work with exclusively n the winter?

D

Winter Solstice

I felt a shift in the energy around me yesterday. Things are going still or at least that is how I experience the Winter Solstice. I don’t feel like being around people or doing much outside the house. The only exception would be a long walk in the woods with my dog. I’m wishing for snow because we have only had a dusting this year. Everything is just gray and gloomy right now.

My plan for tonight is to do a ritual with my husband. We will throw our Yule log into the fire and have a fancy meal together. Today I’m here in the house all by myself so I plan to read cards, journal, do some crafty stuff and just be still. I will take some time to dream about spring and what I might want to plant when the time is right. I will keep a candle burning as long as I can tonight and I will snuggle down and watch a sentimental holiday movie.

I hope each of you has a delightful solstice filled with room to breathe deep, pause, reflect, and dream.

D

The Healing Power Of Nature

I have been feeling raw due to everything going on in the news. The holiday season has blessed me with traditional holiday stress as well. Yesterday my spirit was calling for nature and so I decided to bundle up and head out to the park. Maverick (my doggie) was more than happy to accompany me on my journey. It started to snow pretty hard when we were driving over. I tend to experience snow as peaceful and healing so I was delighted to see the flakes start to dance down from the sky. We had the park to ourselves and the silence was delicious. When I’m walking my dog I do not look at my phone. I try to just let it be us out there with no distractions.

Generally, I like the winter holidays. I celebrate secular Christmas, along with all of my favorite pagan winter holidays. Winter Solstice is the most prominent as a part of my spiritual practice. It reminds me that it is ok to be like the rest of nature, quiet. Here in Wisconsin nothing is really growing or blooming. Nature is resting and so am I. I tend to turn inward at this time of the year. Not to shy away from people but to give myself time to restore and dream of what I want to manifest in the spring. I’m also reminded of how dark the world can be. I try to share my light when I can. This means taking more time to listen to my loved ones and be as present as possible.

From my window, I can see a lovely tree. She has no leaves but stands proudly and is still beautiful without her green decor. She symbolizes hope and the beauty of the crone. She reminds me that life is still there and will return in the spring. She will have leaves again after her winter nap. She also reminds me that as youthful beauty fades it is replaced by a different beauty. Over the years naked winter trees have become one of my favorite things to photograph. For me, they represent strength and inner truth, the beauty of the soul that lasts even after outer beauty fades away.

How are you feeling as we head into the darkest time of the year?

Winter Trees
Maverick
Covered In Snow

This was taken at the start of our walk. I was totally covered in snow by the end!

Winter Berries
Snowy Nest
Queen Anne’s Lace
Frosted

D

Untethered

Today I am giving in to feeling untethered. During this autumn season, it can be so easy for me to become ungrounded. There is this part of me that longs to be between worlds. The world feels heavy now and the constant flow of bad news pouring out at me is overwhelming. Yesterday I spent a good deal of my free time reading and working on my BOS. I burned some cedar incense and just let myself get lost for a spell in the spirit world. I think I’m going to allow myself a season of this, maybe a few more days. The holidays are rushing at us all now and soon enough I will feel the stress of it all and I will be struggling for balance.

How are you handling this time of gray and moving into the darkness?

D

 

Samhain Harvest

My Samhain harvest was wonderful and this year was a big year for manifestation. I’m feeling like all of my hard work paid off in a big way! I have many new things happening right now and I’m trying not to rush headlong into things. So far my new coven is working pretty well. This is my first attempt at having a teaching coven. In the past, I have tended to work with folks who were more seasoned. Teaching has always been a challenge and I have to keep reminding myself that I can inspire if I just put myself in the right headspace. I also made my first video for my new Youtube channel. I’m hoping through this channel I can meet some new people and build some new friendships and connections. The video is pretty far out of my comfort zone. I’m sure there will be negative folks out there. I have to keep reminding myself that negative people can just be ignored. My Etsy store is back up and I’m hoping to have some cool witchy items in there soon.

This last step in my year of restoration has brought me the greatest joy! When I am working on this area of my life I feel like I am right where I am supposed to be in the universe. It brings me so much happiness to know my heart still sings when I engage with helping others in their practice. Bliss is the word I’m reaching for. I know it will not always be easy. Dealing with the personalities can be really draining. That being said, helping others and seeing them really understand and grow is pretty uplifting.

I am grateful. I’m grateful for my craft, the gods and ancestors, and all the people who stood by me when things were hard.

How did your Samhain season go? Can you believe that Yule is right around the corner? I know I’m not ready for that!

Deb

Balance

Wow! Things have changed for me over the last week or so. Once I decided to start a new coven it feels like the whole universe has broken open for me. Between that and it being the Samhain season I am feeling a bit unbalance and I am having to try to reach towards being somewhat more grounded. The good part of all of this is I can feel delicious passionate energy for my craft rushing through my veins. I’m so grateful for that. This weekend my hubby and I will be heading out to the woods of Wisconsin for a little camping adventure. I think the trip will help me ground myself. It will be good to unplug and soak up some earth energy. How is your Samhain season going? Do you have any exciting plans?

D

New Life

It might seem like an odd time of year to be talking about new life but I have some to share. I have been wondering what my big harvest is going to be this year. What I have discovered is that starting a new coven is my big harvest. Now I knew this was coming but I did not think it would come this fast. That being said, the goddess (Morrighan) has been pushing me out of my comfort zone and back into the mix since last spring. I’m one of those people who plans and thinks about something and then when the time feels right I pull the trigger. I often can feel it coming but I just don’t know how soon. When it happens it usually surprises others but I’m often more than ready to go. My mind is buzzing with ideas and excitement at this new adventure. I feel truly restored after a year of working on it. I’m not as afraid as I thought I might be. I have done a lot of letting go and so I’m not so worried about what others will think or how they will respond. Don’t worry, I’m going to be careful to heed the lessons learned from the past. It feels good to be in the center of where I want to be after striving for so long.

What do you want to harvest at Samhain?

Samhain Letting Go: Servant

This one is kind of tied to motherhood but its roots are deeper than that. I was raised United Pentecostal and taught my whole childhood that women are the servants of the home. She has to submit to her husband and the home is pretty much her responsibility. I was also taught that women should be silent in church and I watched all the women around me doing the grunt work of running the church while the men took all of the glory. Now I’ve been a feminist witch for a long time and I do not still believe these teachings are right, at least not on a conscious level. That being said I do see how these teachings crept into some pretty hard to get to cracks of my mind. When something is taught to you from such a young age you often spend much of your adult life finding the remnants and trying to get free from them.

This letting go is about freedom and taking the time to serve myself. I feel that having a fresh empty nest is a good time to work on this. I have space now to focus on my needs and ambitions. I hope that no one thinks I’m trying to be selfish, it isn’t about being selfish it is about creating balance.

I know that my attitudes regarding all of this had a big effect on how I worked within the pagan community before I left. I came at it from a place of servitude. How can I serve the community? It did not take long for that to turn into me being taken advantage of. I can’t really blame myself, I was doing what I thought was right. Now if all things were equal and everyone had an attitude of service it might have been ok. It became about what I could do/provide for them and not about what I could get in return. All that giving is what burned me out. In the end, I was left with an empty cup. Now as I ponder rejoining some kind of pagan community I know my approach will be very different. I’m not going to be anyone’s servant. I will put my shoulder to the plough when it is needed but I will not do it alone.

All the blogging and journalling I have been doing about this is really helping me to gain clarity. I’m heading towards Samhain with a very good vision for what I need to release and what I want to bring in.

D

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑