In 1999 I decided to become a witch. I left a lifetime of bad religion behind me and went in search of something that would be a better fit. 1998 was all about searching. I was hungry for connection. At first, I thought I might be an atheist, after three months I decided that was not going to work for me. I could feel within me that there was something out there but I just wasn’t sure what it was. I studied all kinds of paths and it all led me to witchcraft. I found the goddess and after that, I knew I was home.
When I started out my practice was full of passion and wonder. Over time, I have lost much of that. Groups, community, ideas about what I should and shouldn’t do have all clouded my once intuitive practice. Now I find myself hungry for that old passion. I want to get my hands dirty. If I’m being honest I would have to say that I no longer care what anyone thinks of my practice. I have tried to make my magick conform to other’s ideas of what is right, proper, etc…All this has done is weaken my practice and over time, it has felt less and less like me. I am grateful for all of the training I have received. I have had some very meaningful experiences and because of these, I have added many useful things to my spirituality.
Now I am on a pilgrimage. I am journeying back to who I was in the beginning. I think that is where the juice is. I want to feel more and worry less. So far the journey has been wonderful. This week I got my hands down deep in the earth. I also enjoyed all 4 elements in a meaningful way. I worked a little magick at my altar and I did some divination. I’m creating new tools and my mind has been abuzz with all the things I want to do. Isn’t it funny how you just know when it is time to make a change? I have been waiting for the energy to shift and then one day it did, I knew in that moment just what I wanted to do. I let a bunch go and now I’m ready for what comes next!