Tuesdays are a devotional day for me. I will sometimes bring Morrighan a token or devote a work out to her. Other times I will talk with her about whatever things are going on in my life. I feel when you choose to walk with Morrighan you are not choosing an easy path. She seems to choose those who challenge themselves and she almost always has a challenge for me. Her challenges never feel like a burden and I know that I will be better for having taken her up on it.
Right now my main challenge has been dealing with my health issues. I felt like she was telling me way back at Samhain that this year was going to be very self-focused. I felt a little guilty choosing that path but I trust her and so that is the direction I started to walk. Soon I found out why that was needed and I’m so glad that she gave me the heads up about it. I’m starting to see that part of the challenge is living life to the fullest and not just moving from commitment to commitment. I have also been focusing on turning down all the negative noise in my life which means less time on social media. The world may need me but I need me more.
Over this waning moon period, I have been working on letting go of any lingering guilt or shame that I feel but that doesn’t really belong to me. Each time I work on this process it gets easier and there is less to let go of. For the new moon, I’m planning to set intentions around positivity and not letting my illness rule my life. I can’t believe that Imbolc is just a few weeks away! Before you know it we will be enjoying spring.:) The wheel keeps turning…
Do you have a primary deity? How do you honor that deity?
I have been neglecting my spirituality. It isn’t that I haven’t been practicing, it is that I have not been engaging my heart. Recently I spent a lot of time working on my heart and I feel like this is the final phase. My practice has become very practical and results driven. That Capricorn moon of mine probably has something to do with this. Something has been missing and today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is my devotion. I’m devoted to my craft but my devotion to my gods has been slipping. I think this is all a part of the heart issue I was having in other areas of my life. That chakra was so blocked and I had built up some pretty serious walls around my heart. It had become hard for me to receive love from others and my creativity was nowhere to be found.
I think this was the last hiding place for me because I have been so hurt by pagans. This healing process has been long and each time I think I have reached the end there is more there. I fear I have let the pain of stepping away from community drain my passion and devotion for my gods. I have to remind myself that community is indeed separate from my relationship with my deities. I am still a priestess of Morrigan. I may be working in other ways but that will never change. I was reminded today of when she chose me and how I once interacted with her.
Once this all hit me, I decided that today is the day. I think one of the reasons my devotion has slipped is because I simply do not make time for it. I do all the practical stuff, the stuff that meets needs and gives answers. What is left behind is time to just be with Morrigan. Time to meditate on her and tend to my altar. I have been telling myself that there isn’t time for all that, but it has really been about me not wanting to access my heart.
I did a lovely meditation today and I feel very renewed by it. I practiced having an open heart and I let myself breathe and accept what my guide had to give. No one ever said being a witch was easy! I am grateful for the struggle.
September has been a rough month for me. Nothing big and bad happening, I’ve just been having some health issues. I’m feeling much better now and I’m ready to start preparing for Samhain. Samhain is my favorite time of year and I tend to do some big magick and spiritual work during this time. I’m feeling inspired to complete a month of devotion. My plan is to work with Anu every day for the month of October. I have been working with Anu over the last year but I’m feeling the need to really focus right now. I’m also going to focus on meditation because I have become kind of lazy in that area.
Do you have any plans for the month of October? Do you celebrate Samhain and if so how do you plan for it?