Making Time For Spirituality

I have been neglecting my spirituality. It isn’t that I haven’t been practicing, it is that I have not been engaging my heart. Recently I spent a lot of time working on my heart and I feel like this is the final phase. My practice has become very practical and results driven. That Capricorn moon of mine probably has something to do with this. Something has been missing and today it hit me like a ton of bricks. It is my devotion. I’m devoted to my craft but my devotion to my gods has been slipping. I think this is all a part of the heart issue I was having in other areas of my life. That chakra was so blocked and I had built up some pretty serious walls around my heart. It had become hard for me to receive love from others and my creativity was nowhere to be found.

I think this was the last hiding place for me because I have been so hurt by pagans. This healing process has been long and each time I think I have reached the end there is more there. I fear I have let the pain of stepping away from community drain my passion and devotion for my gods. I have to remind myself that community is indeed separate from my relationship with my deities. I am still a priestess of Morrigan. I may be working in other ways but that will never change. I was reminded today of when she chose me and how I once interacted with her.

Once this all hit me, I decided that today is the day. I think one of the reasons my devotion has slipped is because I simply do not make time for it. I do all the practical stuff, the stuff that meets needs and gives answers. What is left behind is time to just be with Morrigan. Time to meditate on her and tend to my altar. I have been telling myself that there isn’t time for all that, but it has really been about me not wanting to access my heart.

I did a lovely meditation today and I feel very renewed by it. I practiced having an open heart and I let myself breathe and accept what my guide had to give. No one ever said being a witch was easy! I am grateful for the struggle.

D

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Bare

I feel bare as the trees outside my window. Here in Wisconsin, the trees are bare in the winter. Some might think this would be ugly but it has a beauty all its own. I feel like those trees right now. The good thing about seeing the bare trees is that you can appreciate the beauty of what hides beneath the leaves. I feel pretty exposed due to my heart chakra being open and clear. My emotions are raw and my intuition is set on high. One of my goals for January is to keep my heart open and to let emotions pass through me. The key is to not hold onto anything for too long. So right now I’m feeling everything much like the trees in my yard. The wind blows through them and they have no choice but to stand tall and let the wind pass.

I’m thinking about how I can work some magick in order to bring some of my lost pieces back to me. My word for the year is restoration and I think it will be turning up as a magickal theme all year. This tree is not in my yard but it is one of my favorite trees.

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As I sit here in my chair I beckon all of the lost pieces back to me. So many of these parts were not willingly given up but stolen from me. I envision them as small flames coming back into my heart. Hopefully, when the trees get their pretty leaves I will have a few new buds of my own. For now, I’m resting like the trees, quietly calling all the missing pieces home.

D