The Universe has been sending me all sorts of messages over the last week that something is not right. Some of these messages have come through my personal tarot readings and some have come from outside sources. The only difference over the last week has been that the messages are getting louder. Because I have so much trauma in my past it can be easy for me to become really worried when I receive these insights and that worry often leads to a feeling of helplessness. Like ok, it’s coming and I just have to brace myself. I recognize that as an old coping mechanism and I know that it served me long ago but it doesn’t serve me now. When a fellow witch is in need I am the first one to offer help but I don’t always rush to my own aide. Morrighan always speaks the loudest and the most clearly and she is saying, Witch, protect yourself! I also feel she is reminding me of my strength and abilities and also reminding me to use those abilities. Sometimes I get so caught up in the deep personal work I am trying to do that I forget to do things like shore up my defenses. I am grateful for the reminder and I have made a plan to work some magick to protect myself but also to stand in my power as a witch. I spent time with my Book of Shadows this morning and I think I know what I want to do.
How has September been treating you so far? What messages are you hearing on the wind?
Well, the world is a mess right now and I have been struggling to focus. On top of that, I have been feeling so much rage. I am currently trying to write a memoir about my childhood and that process is stirring all of the ghosts from the past. Part of my attempt to stay balanced in this time of uncertainty has been to take many many long walks with my dog. Maverick is a wonderful teacher with regards to staying present in the moment. He is the court jester reminding me to laugh and his joy when we are outdoors is infectious.
Yesterday while walking I took some time to really talk with Morrighan. I shared with her all of my rage and frustration. I didn’t hear much back probably because I wasn’t able to hear with all of my emotions pouring out. This morning I felt much calmer and I feel like I am hearing her speak to me.
It feels good to have this connection with my Matron deity. She is always responsive but right now things are so scary and hard. Today I plan to try to listen and plan for tomorrow’s full moon. I had no plans to work big magick tomorrow but that has all changed this morning. I’m hoping as the day unfolds I will have a clearer image of what needs to be done.
I hope all of you are doing well and staying healthy. What are your plans for the full moon? How are you keeping your balance during this hard time?
Back many many years ago I was lucky enough to harvest an enormous amount of apples with some friends. All of us gathered in my big kitchen and started to process this amazing bounty. We made apple beer, chutney, fruit roll-ups, apple butter, and sauce. Due to a malfunction with the apple press my ceiling, floor and walls were covered in apple. Weeks later I was still finding bits of apple that we missed in the cleaning process. It was a fun community experience and it was a mess. I was a little overwhelmed trying to find ways to use them all (I canned a lot)before they went bad. In the end, I had plenty for myself and tons to share!
My Lammas harvest unfolded much the same way. My community gathered around me to help during the process. The work was messy and time-consuming. The abundance of blessings was great but also overwhelming. I have been working towards this harvest for a very long time. I have put in long hours both working magick to manifest my desire but also just working hard in my mundane life. I planted the seeds of this harvest years ago and each year I would get a little closer to seeing my goal. Now it has arrived and it is magnificent! At the same time, all this bounty demands that I put it to good use, and share it with others. I also have to shore up my boundaries and make sure I am engaging in self-care, too much of a good thing can be bad.
I am saying all of this to say when you are working magick and hoping to harvest your desires it is a good idea to be prepared. I recommend doing everything you can to prepare for what your life might look like if you actually get what you want. Will you need support? Are you ready for success? When you get what you want how will you use it? Will you share it? For me, my success meant tons of phone calls, emails, public speaking, being vulnerable and having my life out there on display. I’m an introvert who displays as an extrovert, so all that talking and being seen is not easy for me. When I was working on manifesting my desire I visualized what it would look like so I could be prepared for what might be asked of me in exchange.
Since Lammas, I have had almost no time to process how amazing this harvest has been. Instead of blogging, I should be sleeping but my mind is wide awake. I’m enjoying the delicious quiet of my office and giving myself a moment to let the magick of it all really sink in. We have two more turns of the wheel dedicated to harvest, I can’t wait to see what is coming!
May is finally here and I am so happy to see this month. The skies are much less gray and gloomy. I have had the opportunity to be out in nature and that is always good for the soul. Beltane was a quiet one this year but I’m not complaining. I was able to rest and call in some good energy. My focus this month has been on calling in male energy. I have fallen out of the habit of working with male deities. I only realized this morning that the full moon will be upon us in a couple of days. It falls in Scorpio which is not the best placement for me. My head is buzzing with ideas for the full moon but I will need to proceed with caution.
My Morrigan tools are still a work in progress. The doll is finished and now I am working on a wand. I’m also about to start another piece that will act as a trivet for my altar. Lastly, I am focused on Morrigan’s shapeshifting aspect. I have been rereading and working through Stephanie Woodfield’s book “Celtic Lore and Spellcraft of the Dark Goddess, Invoking The Morrigan.” There is so much juicy stuff in there! All of this work with Morrigan has reminded me of the power I have and has encouraged me to work more magick.
I have nothing earth-shattering to report. The world has continued to turn and I continue to try to connect to Spirit. I will post some new photos soon!
The moon is waning and my heart is pouring out into the universe all the things it wishes to let go of. In order to do this great restoration project I’m working on I need to make room. Every month I find things to let go of but this month feels different. I feel so much pouring out of me. Now that my heart is open and not barricaded behind walls I’m finding there is so much there I was unaware of. Sadness, fear, outdated relationships, old ideas, and just build up crap. I’m not afraid to let it all go, in fact, I’m excited!
In my little bowl, I placed all the things I wanted to burn away. I spoke them into the flame and watched them burn away. Softly I sang to myself that it was ok to let go.
Contained within my letting go was rage, sadness, and relief. It feels good to be a witch and to know that I have the power to shape my world and myself.
I feel bare as the trees outside my window. Here in Wisconsin, the trees are bare in the winter. Some might think this would be ugly but it has a beauty all its own. I feel like those trees right now. The good thing about seeing the bare trees is that you can appreciate the beauty of what hides beneath the leaves. I feel pretty exposed due to my heart chakra being open and clear. My emotions are raw and my intuition is set on high. One of my goals for January is to keep my heart open and to let emotions pass through me. The key is to not hold onto anything for too long. So right now I’m feeling everything much like the trees in my yard. The wind blows through them and they have no choice but to stand tall and let the wind pass.
I’m thinking about how I can work some magick in order to bring some of my lost pieces back to me. My word for the year is restoration and I think it will be turning up as a magickal theme all year. This tree is not in my yard but it is one of my favorite trees.
As I sit here in my chair I beckon all of the lost pieces back to me. So many of these parts were not willingly given up but stolen from me. I envision them as small flames coming back into my heart. Hopefully, when the trees get their pretty leaves I will have a few new buds of my own. For now, I’m resting like the trees, quietly calling all the missing pieces home.
I am a Gemini. This means that I have many many interests. Witchcraft is up towards the top of that list and my spirituality is even a bit higher. In order to be a more focused twin in 2017 my plan is to leave some things behind. Social media is one of them. I’m not throwing it away totally but I do plan to greatly lessen my consumption of it. I want to create more time for craft work and I want to continue to cultivate balance. Water magick is in the cards for 2017 as is more writing in my book of shadows. I also intend to shore up my boundaries and take more down time for self-care. I’m hoping that by lessening my social media consumption I can change my attitude some. I feel that social media really brings my mood down and tends to make feel a bit defeated. Facebook is the worst. I find Instagram to be the most uplifting. When I am feeling defeated it can be hard to find my passion. I really use my passion when working magick so no passion means no magick.:( I also want to engage with my heart chakra a bit more.
Another thing I intend to leave behind is bitter, negative, judgemental people. I have been doing this over the years but there are still some hangers-on that need to go! Like social media, these people drain me of my passion and spark. This year more than ever I’m feeling the call to make manifest my will and so I need to get all the garbage out-of-the-way.
If anyone has good insight or info to share on any of these topics I would love to hear about them. I hope you all have a blessed and productive 2017!
Today I wanted to honor the full moon with some water magick, snow magick to be specific. I have been wanting to work with water ever since I felt a tug from Melusina. After studying her myth I had the realization that I’m out of balance. My heart is all bound up and behind walls. Because of past pain, I have become militant about protecting my sensitive heart. Boundaries are good but feeling nothing is not. I have been feeling super flat and unable to laugh or cry. This is no way for a witch to live and it can have a negative effect on my magickal work. I used aquamarine, rose quartz, and blue topaz on my heart chakra to help open things up. I placed snow on my heart and let it melt. I asked the gods/goddesses to help me melt away the bonds on my heart and aid in healing my wounds. I called on Morrighan, Melusine, and Skadi to help. For the male aspect, I called in Pan, Poseidon, and Odin. I know these seem like odd combinations, but I work with all of them and I felt they all offered help. My goal was to gain healing and to thaw my frozen heart. Now my heart feels very full and heavy. I think I need to have a good cry even though there is nothing making me sad in this moment. As the walls and chains melt away I suspect that pain is what is behind all that. This Gemini full moon is all about self-care, if you are a Gemini, and I intend to take the time to let my tears flow.
Lastly, I listened to music with a water theme and that inspired me to create a water playlist. I hope you all have a productive full moon.
I like makeup. I don’t wear it all the time, but when I do I like the way it makes me feel. When I was a kid we belonged to a church that did not allow makeup. We were members of The United Pentecostal Church. We also could not cut our hair, wear jewelry or pants. Around the time I was 14 or so I started really being curious about makeup. I’m sure that my discovery of Madonna had something to do with this. We were not supposed to watch tv or listen to the radio but occasionally I snuck and did it. I thought I was so rebellious, now I have to kind of smile when I think about my minor sins. I was almost kicked out of the UPC school I went to for trying to get by with clear nail polish. When I was feeling particularly rebellious I would sneak on some blush or lip gloss. They did not notice that too much, but we sure heard tons of sermons about the evils of being a Jezebel. I just could not understand how having shiny fingernails would cause a man to fall into sin. That made no more sense to me than how seeing my upper arm would cause a man to fall. The reality is none of the UPC holiness standards kept me safe from being molested by one of their ministers. The UPC church is riddled with sexual misconduct. All of the sermons about how evil everything is seems to only feed a hunger for it.
When I left the church one of the first things I did was start wearing makeup. It was a way to experiment with different personas. The church was all about making all of the women look the same. I knew that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted freedom and I wanted to be able to express myself through my clothing and makeup. As I was putting on my makeup the other day I thought of how much the act of putting it on was a symbol. A symbol of freedom and individuality. I also thought about how much I use it as part of my magickal expression. My primary deity is Morrighan. When I am trying to embody her my makeup looks different than usual. I use makeup as armor. I wear my makeup in certain ways when I want to be left alone or when I feel I need extra shielding. I may add jewelry to enhance the effect. If I had to name the look I am going for when I want to carry Morrighan energy, I would call it Crow. Dark eyes, hair down, crow pendant and dark lipstick. You can also use makeup as ritual prep, to help you prepare to shift consciousness.
Isn’t funny how something that seems so ordinary to most people can take on a special meaning? Most people would not see the significance in applying makeup. For me, it symbolizes my freedom from an oppressive faith and god. It represents my ability to choose how I present myself and that is really meaningful.
As a side note, I have used makeup to invoke elemental characteristics as well. I’m happy to help if anyone has questions about this part of my practice.
I have a couple of things to share today. I made another wand. This wand is made from apple wood like the others. I added shells with the intention of creating a water wand. It has this lovely quality, when I hold it I can feel the connection to my heart chakra. I imagine you could use it for work having to do with love, the heart, creativity, compassion or healing.
The shells wrap around and crawl up the wand.
I left the handle natural and long enough to be shortened to fit the user.
The other thing I want to share is a Pinterest board. I created a page for Morrighan. I love to connect with like-minded witches. If you want to follow me just follow the link.