With Ostara arriving soon I have been thinking about my inner child. I celebrate the young maiden Goddess for this turn of the wheel. When I imagine myself at that age it often brings sadness because my childhood was very traumatic. Luckily I have fairly good memories of Easter and so I can use them to fuel my Ostara work. My mother would buy me an Easter basket every year and I was always so excited to dig through the fake grass hoping to find the perfect piece of candy. When I grew a little older my mother would buy me a lily to wear to church. I felt like a big girl and I would spend most of the service smelling my flower. Sometimes my basket would have bubbles or a jump rope, or maybe a new Barbie doll. No matter what was inside it was magical! Every Easter would bring a new dress no matter how little money we had. I don’t know how my mother did this, again like magic she made miracles happen.
During this week leading up to Ostara I intend to indulge my inner little girl. I’m going to try to capture her sparkle and way of looking at the world. I’m going to try to call some of her sweetness back to me. She is who I was before I became so guarded. She is wild and affectionate, she is the part of me who loves freely without worry. She is dandelion chains and frilly socks, she is about to bloom and unaware of what is coming.
How will you celebrate Ostara? I’m going to put up some of my decor today and this weekend I will cook some delicious food. I will probably play with my puppy outside just like I did when I was a girl. Some things never change and I can hear the echos of her, my child self calling me to come outside and play.
I have been putting off writing this post because I just haven’t been feeling the energy. I think Ostara might be a struggle for many of us given what is going on in our world right now. Times like these make me glad to have spiritual traditions to help me get through. I have been finding myself struggling to remember what day it is, it feels like we are in a timeless state right now. Everything feels so heavy and not much like maiden energy. This just means I have to work a little harder to hear what Mother Earth is saying. All I know is that I intend to get outside to count all the signs of spring I can find. I also plan to make a yummy brunch and find some way to engage with my younger self. Healing work has been the norm around here and that will continue as well.
I’m pausing. It might seem odd given that this is a new moon but there is so much going on astrologically that I feel it is best for me to take a breath. Mercury Retrograde seasons usually allow me a chance to reflect. The energy around me feels like an in-between time which kinda makes sense given that Spring Equinox is on the horizon. At this moment I am reflecting on my spiritual journey and feeling a tremendous amount of gratitude. It’s not super popular to be Wiccan right now but I have never cared for what is popular.
My practice has served me well in many ways. It has helped me to learn to flow with the earth and her seasons. Every year letting go of what needs to be removed and sowing seeds when it is time to start new life. My journey has taught me about leadership and boundaries and listening to my gut. Over time my practice has assisted me in healing my wounds and speaking my truth through bravery and a warrior’s spirit. I have learned to trust the divine and see the divine within myself.
It has not always been easy. Within this culture (Paganism) you run into all sorts of crappy people and at times those experiences have brought me great pain. Through those experiences, I have learned compassion and how to protect myself and how to walk in integrity.
Although I’m much more expansive with my practice and I do not stay perfectly within the lines of traditional Wicca it is the framework for my spiritual practice. Wicca is not perfect and I don’t believe any spiritual framework is. So today as I sit in this timeless space I’m grateful for all of the blessings and lessons Wicca has given me.