The Scorpio Full Moon

I have become a bird watcher. In truth this makes me feel kind of old but I’ve decided to embrace it. They are all so different and their little habits so interesting. Right now I am trying to charm my neighborhood crows. So far I’ve had more luck with the squirrels so the struggle continues. I am a Gemini so my affinity for birds should surprise no one. When I first became a witch I had a very vivid lucid dream about flying that took my breath away. I had never had a dream like that before and I’ve never had one since. It seemed to be a message from the universe to say that I was on the right spiritual track.

Yesterday started off weird. I’m not a Scorpio moon fan and a Scorpio full moon can really throw me for a loop. I felt like my emotions were all over the place. Something came to a head within my heart while I was finishing a full moon tarot reading. I have been struggling with this highly personal issue for about a month now. I kept going to the gods with it trying to figure out why it was coming up and exactly what I was supposed to do with it. You know how it is when the universe wants you to look at something, it can just keep putting it in your face in different ways. So this kept going on over April and into May and so yesterday I asked The Morrighan for some clarity and answers. I read my cards and tried to find the truth there and all that did for me was bring up more questions. Bleh…My full moon plan was to work on courage and so I did my work and stepped away from my altar. Suddenly everything became clear and I felt that steely courage that only The Morrighan can encourage. I discovered that my issue was all tied up with my need for courage. I was seeing all the pretty ways courage would help me and not seeing this painful thing that could benefit from courage. So I took action and it was easier than I expected it to be and just like that, I felt free from what had been dogging me for over a month. Sorry, I’m being so cryptic it is just that this issue is very personal and hard for me to talk about. I debated whether or not to blog about it and decided there was value in sharing even if I don’t give you all of the specifics. I confronted something hard and because of that, I have let go of yet another issue making my transformation easier.

It’s funny how the full moon can surprise you. I never expected yesterday to pan out like it did but I’m so happy. I have additional freedom that will make turning 50 so much easier. As I leave behind the thoughts, patterns, and habits that have held me back up until now I feel freer to fly like my bird friends into the second half of my life.

 

 

50 is coming!

Next month I’m turning 50! It seems unreal and impossible. I have been preparing for this big birthday for the last year. I have been casting off the things which I do not want to carry into the next half of my life and cultivating tools that will help me when the calendar turns. I feel the queen/mother energy flowing through me strongly and I can see the crone waiting in the wings. When I start my new solar year I want to hit the ground running! The biggest shift is moving from mothering into creating. Not creating new life but projects. I have always created groups and projects but I’ve always had to look after others while doing this instead of being able to throw myself into things with abandon and to some degree selfishness. I’ve had an empty nest for a couple of years now and I have been slowly shifting into this new phase of life. Since Samhain, I have been focusing on figuring out what I want the second half of my life to look like. That is the easy part, the harder part has been being willing to take time for indulging my dreams and wants versus always thinking about the family first. I had my first child at age 22 and I have to figure out who I am all over again!

On the upcoming full moon, my focus will be courage. When you have kids at home you can always have an excuse for not doing things. When those babies move on it removes so much from your life and opens up so much time. Now the only thing stopping me is often my lack of courage to step out of the shadows and like the Fool card step out into a new adventure.

Right now I am more excited than nervous. I feel supported by Morrighan, Dagda, and Brigid and maybe pushed a little bit, but it is a good push. What will you be working on for the full moon?

D